mr mosow walks!

the drake that suffered a heat stroke last week, recently graduated from the indoor bathtub to a private rehab pen/suite outside next to my garden. he's been eating and drinking well but still hasn't been able to walk. today he took his first steps! and what magnificent steps they are! i told you statistics have got nothing on me or mr moscow.

today i am six.

it's amazing what a new life, a farm, a bunch of livestock including 10 baby chickens will do for your health and wellbeing. today i celebrated my 6 year cancerversary! 6 years ago today, i heard the words that no one wants to hear, "you have cancer." and now, here i am living the life of my dreams. building a small farm, playing music, taking photographs, and being happily married to a truly incredible man. the crazy part about it all is that i totally forgot today was my cancerversary. i was just celebrating life because that's what i do. i spent the day working on the house, the barn, feeding my animals, and playing in the snow. this evening, my husband and i sat down to a romantic indian dinner just because. just because that's what i get to do. i choose to do. and i am privileged to do.

it wasn't until i sat down just now and read my email from my sisters that i realized the true meaning of today. i want to thank them for the reminder.

happy new year.

what a year 2007 has been. what a hard year. 3 surgeries. 3 sisters lost. losing leroy. almost losing someone so very very dear to me (my heart aches just thinking about it). car crash. financial rock bottom. what was the grand finale, you ask? how about the escape of our two new llamas. yes, they decided it would be nicer in a farm two lots down the road.

but 2008, i truly believe, is going to be great. i have my family. my health. my farm. my dogs. my music. a new life. and i get to watch that very dear someone smile and laugh again for the first time in weeks.

look out, new year. we've been waiting for you. we are suited in armor, prepared for victory. we will use you up and then some. and come hell or high water, we will get those stubborn llamas back where they belong.

my duty as sai baba sees it.

i'm not a religious person. but i do consider myself spiritual. and so as i wait for my test results and try and find some kind of solace, i just don't feel right praying for my own health. i don't think you can make deals with god. i just think you need to try and be the best person you can be. and this quote kind of sums it up.

"Be assured that the Lord has come to save the world from calamity. Your duty is to keep calm, to pray for the happiness and prosperity of all. Do not pray for your own exclusive happiness and say, "Let the rest of the world go to pieces." You cannot be happy when the rest of mankind is unhappy. You are an organic part of the human community. Share your prosperity with others; strive to alleviate the sufferings of others. That is your duty."

- Sai Baba
Divine Discourse, March 17, 1961.

pet peeve.

why do people feel the need to send email chain letters that start off with "if you don't forward this to at least 3 friends you will be cursed with 3 years bad luck!"? then the letter proceeds to tell you how the sender is so lucky to have you as a friend and it's all sweetly wrapped up in some sappy poem or heart-wrenching story. i don't get it? why would you want to threaten a friend with potentially bad luck? i have had some major bad luck in my life that i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. i never forward these letters. i always delete them. i don't really believe the internet has anything to do with a person's future happiness. maybe i'm wrong. if not, i have at least 50 years bad luck awaiting me and i'll probably be struck blind and turned into a toad on my way home this evening. dang!

i believe.

it's been a long time since i checked the fireplace for footprints. i stopped believing in santa in the 5th grade. i gave up believing in a lot of things back then. there is point in your life when you no longer believe in magic and fairytales. when the mystery goes out like a candle. you grow up and start worrying about responsibilities and not so much about the ghost in the attic. you lay awake at night and worry about your health, or the health of your spouse. you worry about money. you worry about the future. you gather up loose change to pay for gas. you eat spaghettios because it's all you can afford. and you wonder how there could possibly be a christmas this year. and then the mail man comes...

and there in the middle of a stack of bills is an envelope with no return address. inside is a $100 gift certificate for groceries. and the card says, "to larissa and jason, from santa". and you smile the biggest childlike smile. and you have hope. and you are filled with cheer. and you believe.

thank you, santa.

the bride.

the happy couple.

the happy couple.

mr & mrs jason rook.

mr & mrs jason rook.

i now pronounce you husband & wife.

i now pronounce you husband and wife.

true love.

today i leave for italy to be wed. see you all in a few weeks.

like mother, like son.

Hangin with Mr Chopper.