life goes on.

life is a roller coaster. you coast, and coast. you feel a thrill when you turn a loop but then all of a sudden you throw up the funnel cake you downed earlier and wish you could just get off and take a nap.

that's how things are these days. the good days coast by. sometimes you don't even notice them. which is a shame. you don't realize that nothing is going wrong. you just keep sweeping the floor and feeding the dogs. and then you have bad days from hell. like yesterday. jason's dad was rushed to ER. seizures. possible side-effect from his stroke. might be able to control with medication. fortunately, might not impair his ability to heal and recover. never the less, still scary as shit.

we try to deal with these things. but the dogs still need to eat. and the floor is definitely in need of sweeping. possible bull-dozing.

luckily the coaster scenery is often pleasantly distracting. for example, tito von peenerhaus has learned (with the aid of porkchop's doggie steps) to access my reading chair. he hasn't learned to read yet. just nap. which is what i'd love to do someday.

tito and jerry blissfully sleeping

september, where did you go?

can't believe september is almost up. i have been seriously slacking on posts. tito along with my new part-time care-taker job seem to have thrown me for a blog-less and photo-less loop. sincere apologies.

tito is fine, by the way. he's currently visiting his cousins audrey, ramona, russell, and leon outside. his grazing instincts have kicked in (a la chewing on cords, paper bags, purses, shoe strings....). so, when at all possible, he gets to run free with the herd.

been stocking up for fall on yarn and crocheted items. new stuff up on etsy. i also take requests. perfect time to plan your christmas list.

mohair hat

mohair christmas pin

been so long...

sorry i've slacked this week on posts. haven't really felt up to it with the loss of marla. can't bear to break out the old canon and shoot any pics. but i will let you all know the kids are fine. russell and ramona are doing phenomenally well. have not needed milk replacer. weaned themselves. amazing little creatures. they are growing by leaps and bounds. and the goat heard has taken them under their collective wing. and then there's the sheep... who also have a bond with the twins. so, things are going really as well if not better than can be expected.

me, i started my new part-time job today. caretaker. my father in law (who had a stroke back in april) is at home and needing assistance during the day between home health visits from his various therapists and while my mother in law goes back to work. i will be doing this a few days a week alternating with other relatives who are giving their time as well. never pictured myself in this position, but here i am. and after all my cancer/surgeries/etc... i have a bit of experience. if nothing else as a patient. and it's nice to be able to give something back. karma for all the love and care i received when i was in need.

promise new pictures sometime soon. until then, check out my husbands new blog, provenance farm which is exclusively illustrated with photographs by the brilliant photographer known otherwise as me.

you don't have to live like a refugee...

as you may know, my father-in-law had a stroke back in april and has been hospitalized since. he is improving everyday. however, it is still going to be a long road. we offered to adopt his hunting beagles. as they need some extra attention. and well, i'm a sucker for a sad eyed beagle.

meet the two newest refugees... lulu and junior. lulu is in by no means related to lulu of "the adventures of lulu" stories. i just like the name.

junior comes from a long line of rook family beagles. his mother was buttercup (whose birth i witnessed many moons ago). and buttercup was daughter to blind ol'annie (whom i wrote a song about called "ballad of the lonely hunter"). jr has a hereditary condition called cherry eye which is a deformity of the tear gland. it can be fixed with surgery. however, it would involve removing the tear gland (which would cause dry eye and possible infections). so, we're just gonna leave him be. he thinks it makes him look tough. i agree.

i'm not exactly sure about lulu's lineage. i do know that she's old as hell. and has had her share of puppies. we are getting her spayed. mostly to prevent any del ray offspring which would no doubt be a plague on the world.

lulu

junior lookin' good!

"oh, is this not cool?" - junior

"no, it's not." - porkchop

lulu don't like cameras

where are the flowers?

can't believe it's may already. i thought april showers brought mayflowers and pilgrams. but apparenlty it has brought more rain. tornadoes. winds of 70+ miles an hour. turning my newly planted garden into a swimming pool. i have not given up. i will rebuild, reseed, replant. i'm fairly certain the potatoes will be fine. you should have seen the eyes on them when they went into the ground. crazy long.

along with rain, april has brought more sadness to the rook farm. the loss of our dear sweet goat, bernadett. we are still mourning her absence. especially with the front yard fenced in and every goat getting fat on fresh grass. she would have loved it. she would have also loved being so close to happy joes (the kitchen).

in addition to losing bernadett, we lost our sweet little female piglette, delilah. both her and samson came down with pneumonia shortly after their arrival here. we suspect they contracted it when they were taken to the state university to be examined (this was required by law) in order to be registered. we fought with their breeder against having them registered. we are not planning on breeding them for sale. but their breeder wanted to comply with all the rules and regulations. unfortunately, little delilah wasn't strong enough to fight. despite an intense regimine of antibiotics and immune boosters, she died within a week. samson still has a bit of a cough. and we continue to medicate him as needed. incidently, his registered name was "too big to fail". foreshadowing, perhaps.

and then the worst of all happened, jason's father had a stroke. he has been in the ICU for past two weeks. he's a private man, and wouldn't want to be in the spotlight, so i won't say much. except that all prayers, good thoughts, positive energy and well wishes are greatly appreciated. if it weren't for my father in law, i wouldn't know what a beagle was. i would not have my treasured dog, porkchop (whom my FIL rescued when porkchop was orphaned). and i wouldn't have my partner in crime, my anchor, my heart, my dear husband jason.

on a brighter note, yesterday was mother's day. and my mom paid a visit to the farm. we decided to take the day off. and just relax. ate some omelets (courtesy of our hens). watched a dvd. and spent the rest of the time meandering the fields, feeding the goats and pups, playing with the chickens, and being heckled by the peanut-gallery (donks, horse & llama).

it's me, grandma.

baby snakes giving a mother's day kiss.

albert the mighty little.

hog harvest.

last sunday was hog harvest day. besides the occasional turkey or chicken, our pigs were the first two livestock we raised and harvested for meat by ourselves. people wonder how we can do this? why do we do this? because we want to take resposiblity for the meat we eat. we want to know that the meat we consume comes from cruelty free, chemical free, and hormone free animals. it is not easy. but it is a choice.

i'm warning you... this will probably be my longest blog post ever. it will also be graphic. vegetarians may not want to read.

let's see... where do i begin? i spent all day saturday crying. i cried for my two swine friends, dagmar & cocoa. i knew their day had come. this was their plan. they didn't know it. they had no concept of mortality. they lived to eat, run, play, and sleep. they lived a happy life. especially compared to what their outcome could have been. we purchased them from an animal auction. their brothers & sisters probably went to live their lives in pig pens with no grass, possibly no sunshine, to stand in their own filth, and to eat processed feed. dagmar & cocoa got to run free, to eat grass & flowers & bugs & whatever their noses unveiled. they went swimming in the pond. they played with the puppies. they never suffered one day since they stepped foot on our farm. even at the end.

so, how does one harvest a pig? well, first you need to wait until the temperature outside is cold enough. the meat will need to stay outside until thoroughly chilled. this was a problem for most of november & december. the weather had been totally erratic. but sunday, december 21st, turned out to be well below freezing.

next, you need a group of friends and family to help. you will be building a fire, hanging meat, cleaning, butchering, and packaging. it is quite an operation. your harvest team will be an invaluable support system. you will share things together that will bond you for life.

so, it's saturday. the day before d-day. and i'm crying my eyes out. i feed dagmar & cocoa their last supper. i play with them. let them rub their muddy noses on my pants legs one last time. i call it "getting pigged". there is no escaping the barnyard with clean jeans when there are pigs about. i say goodbye. i go back inside and try to keep busy by cleaning & crying. finally, i take a xanax and try to sleep.

the alarm goes off way too early. 5:30am. it's still dark outside. but i get up. make coffee. do some last minute cleaning before the harvest team arrives. sam & parents arrive first. his mom (cathy) brings us homemade chicken noodle soup, cookies, donuts, and a sub sandwich. his dad (gary) brings a truck load of supplies (tables, saws, tools, knives, pots, etc..). jason's dad (glenn)and uncle (george) arrive next. they are seasoned hunters. they bring guns & expertise.

i had previously decided not to be present during the actual slaughter. so cathy and i settle inside the house and keep the coffee brewing and watch the dogs.

step one: jason, sam, gary, glenn & george head out to the barn. they build a fire to keep them warm as it's bitterly cold. they get all their tools, equipment, etc.. in place. they lead dagmar into the pig house. let him drink some milk. while he is drinking, one quick bullet to the brain severs his spinal cord and drops him instantly. no struggle. no pain. his soul is free. he is no longer he but is now meat. the body is hung to bleed and to be skinned, cut in half, & gutted. the feet and head are removed.

the men bring the hog sides to the house and place them on a table outside. cathy and i wash the bodies with water and brushes.

washed sides of pork

the meat chills outside for several hours while butchering and packaging preparations are made. and the same process is repeated for cocoa.

ok, let's take a break. nellie (aka "little bit") gives us some levity....

little bit helps

step two: a side of pork is brought into the kitchen. jason, sam, and gary consult meat cutting guides (ala the navy's meat cutting book & an old farm journal magazine courtesy of gary).

butchering tools

consulting the guide

they begin by removing the lard (white fat on the outside of meat). lard is placed in tubs to render later. then the actual cuts of meat are created. cuts are placed on plates and handed to cathy & i to package. i vacuum sealed our cuts in plastic using a black & decker freshguard. i know plastic is not the most environmentally conscious method. but this method can keep frozen meat good for up to 2 years and the plastic bags are reusable (save, wash, & boil). i just can't bear the thought of losing any of the precious meat we have been fortunate enough to harvest. that would be a wasted life.

the packages are labeled with the cut of meat and the date. then chilled for several hours in the refrigerator before being placed in the freezer. scrap cuts of meat are ground and saved for making sausage. the bones are either boiled or baked for soup and/or dog treats. the liver and other choice sweat meats are saved as well for dog treats. the heads are saved head cheese. and the feet (or trotters as the english say) are saved for either stew, soup or pickled pigs feet.

we are finished around 4:30pm. we split the meat between us and sam's family. sam's share fits into two coolers. he leaves his bacon and ham for us to cure. as well as the sausage meat. our share fits in our freezer. the balance (ham, sausage, & bacon) takes up most of our fridge.

hams & bacon

freezer meats

sam, gary & cathy drive home. jason leaves to pick up my christmas present at a remote location several hours away (more on that later). i mop the kitchen floor which looks like a crime scene. then drive to my mother's house to celebrate an early christmas.

and that, in brief, is how one harvests a hog. coming up next... making your own sausage.

*** after re-reading this, i feel i have glossed over the process. it was physically and emotionally draining. at the end of harvest day, i was beat. and i questioned whether i wanted to go through this again. but after a few days of rest and reflection, i have no regrets. as long as we eat pork, we will continue to raise our own. i will continue to name my pigs, to treat them with respect, to enjoy their presence, and to cry when their time has come.

spanish pickles.

yesterday, i was honored to learn the art of making spanish pickles. "what are spanish pickles?" you ask. some folks say it is something made up by my grandmother in law, dorothy. if you look up "spanish pickles" on the internet you might find a recipe or two. but not much else. i first heard about them from my mother in law, rita. she says they are good with beans. and so every time we have beans, i get to hear how rita could "sure use a jar of spanish pickles" and that there's "nothing like 'em" and that "it's been years" since she had a jar. well, i like beans. i like pickles. my curiosity was sparked.

and since i moved to the farm and began to garden, i decided i should also learn how to can & jar. i thought it would be a good idea to figure out what to do with all my tomatoes. and up to two weeks ago, i had an abundance. i was making spaghetti sauce, using 10 tomatoes at a time. and guess what is a major ingredient in "spanish pickles"???? tomatoes. green tomatoes to be exact. so i talked to rita, and rita talked to dorothy, and we agreed we should schedule a time to make a batch spanish pickles while dorothy still remembers how. but then disaster struck. we had a big storm last week and my garden was plagued by a second invasion of hornworms. oh the revisited horror! overnight, a newer bigger uglier batch of hornworms emerged and devoured about 80% of my garden. not only did they eat the leaves, they ate my green tomatoes. next year, it won't be like this. i will be prepared. i will have an arsenal of deterrents up my sleeve. and i will start my first plan of defense this fall by properly turning the soil and composting. but i digress....

getting back to pickles... rita scheduled a "spanish pickle making night" with me, dorothy, rita and her sister, glenda. the ever resourceful dorothy got her hands on some fresh green tomatoes. and we gathered to record this family tradition. here is what i learned....

spanish pickles are made of equal parts of green tomatoes & cabbage. they are chopped in a food processor. and placed into a big pot. white vinegar, canning salt, and red pepper flakes are added for taste. then the pot is placed on stove and boiled just until the mixture starts to turn a darker color. then contents are lightly drained of juice and placed into mason jars. jars were not boiled, but securely fastened by my father in law, glenn. the mixture inside is still hot and you can hear it "popping" the seals shut as they sit. then, jars sit for at least a week, and... voila, spanish pickles! serve with beans, or crackers, or whatever you like.

i still don't exactly know what spanish pickles are. you can add green peppers to the mix. you can add onions. you can make them extra hot or not so hot. you can add more of the juice or less. some folks like 'em. some folks don't. me, i can't wait to try them. 6 more days!

chopped green tomatoes

food processorized

add pepper, salt & vinegar

cook, can & voila!

best fishes!

thanks to my father-in-law glenn rook, we ate good yesterday. glenn caught 'em. jason cooked 'em and i ate 'em!