Halloween AF!

On this day back in 2007, my breast cancer journey was forever entwined with Halloween.  I was in the hospital having my second mastectomy and immediate reconstruction.  Part of the surgery consisted of replacing some of my tissue with a medical product called alloderm (aka sterilized and heavily processed cadaver skin).  Yes, I AM the walking dead.  I walk amongst you.  Me and my frankenbreasts.

Take that!  Happy Halloween!  I see dead people (when I look down)!

Haloween 2019 Marla from Fight Club just cuz

8 is great.

today i celebrate my 8 year crancerversary. 8 years ago, i got the phone call. and the ball started rolling. and i knocked it out of the court. i slayed a dragon. i shot him dead. and all that good stuff.

in the past 8 years, i have joined a rock n'roll band. i married the love of my life. i quit my desk job of 13+ years, cashed in my retirement, bought a small holding farm in the middle o'nowhere missouri. started a small fiber farm (goats, sheep, angora rabbits, and llama). i've learned to spin yarn, fix an electric fence, shoot a shotgun, gut a chicken, use a riding lawn mower. i've been a goat mid-wife. and so many more things. and i'm still learning and growing.

sometimes i get down on myself. thinking that i have wasted time. not made the most of it. i sink into the evils of equating money with success. no, i don't have tons of money. but i always have food. and i have shelter. and i have the most gorgeous view from our kitchen window.

and now, at 8 years, i am faced with some obstacles. a teeny bump in the road with some reconstruction revision surgery. teeny for me, yes. but it disrupts the flow of the farm. i am unable to work for 6 weeks. therefore, my husband has taken on my role on top of his endless regular roles. and even though he won't admit it, i know it is a burden. and i am truly grateful for him. the critters are doing fantastic!

and then there is also the nagging "what if?" lurking around the corner. the dreaded follow-up PET scan in april. we are trying to think positive. and all prayers, good vibes, voodoo, mojo, magic beans, meditation, humor, etc... that you all have been sending our way is so very very welcome and deeply appreciated. we can feel the love. we can.

if my health permits, my surgeon has given be the thumbs up to go to the 10th Annual Young Survival Coalition/Living Beyond Breast Cancer Conference in Atlanta this weekend. many of my dearest friends will be there and i am so looking forward to seeing them. some i have known since my diagnosis. and we will celebrate our survivorship together.

and now i leave you with the cutest egg i have ever seen in my life.....

been so long...

sorry i've slacked this week on posts. haven't really felt up to it with the loss of marla. can't bear to break out the old canon and shoot any pics. but i will let you all know the kids are fine. russell and ramona are doing phenomenally well. have not needed milk replacer. weaned themselves. amazing little creatures. they are growing by leaps and bounds. and the goat heard has taken them under their collective wing. and then there's the sheep... who also have a bond with the twins. so, things are going really as well if not better than can be expected.

me, i started my new part-time job today. caretaker. my father in law (who had a stroke back in april) is at home and needing assistance during the day between home health visits from his various therapists and while my mother in law goes back to work. i will be doing this a few days a week alternating with other relatives who are giving their time as well. never pictured myself in this position, but here i am. and after all my cancer/surgeries/etc... i have a bit of experience. if nothing else as a patient. and it's nice to be able to give something back. karma for all the love and care i received when i was in need.

promise new pictures sometime soon. until then, check out my husbands new blog, provenance farm which is exclusively illustrated with photographs by the brilliant photographer known otherwise as me.

thanks kristi!

my dear friend, kristi collins, has started her own pet apparel & jewelry shop called nina's boutique. she sent choppy and mr donkey some t-shirts. choppy's shirt says, "my human is a breast cancer survivor" and donkey's says "i bark for a cure". they love 'em! and so do i.

i'm 5 years old!

spent last weekend celebrating with my sistahs, ringing in my 5 year crancerversary in washington dc at the LLBC/YSC Annual Conference. words cannot describe what it is like to be surrounded by such strength and support. plus no one throws a party like a cancer survivor. and well, i like to party. apparently so does mr donkey.

our pink toes (uff wbs)

joyologist sarah's pink socks, eh?

laurel & dana's pink nap.

pink princesses.

pink donkey.