i refuse to believe.

i've had this silly superstition regarding posting photos of newly acquired farm animals. it goes like this... if i post a pic shortly after their arrival, something bad will happen. this odd belief was loosely based on a few isolated incidents. mainly, the llamas, leroy, and baby chickens. so, i've given myself the week long rule. wait a week to avoid tragedy. however, my fear grew. and the week extended to months. sometimes more. in fact, i have never shared photos of our sheep. but i have come to realize that bad things just happen sometimes regardless of a digitally captured image. and i really shouldn't look at them as bad or evil events. just nature. just life. sometimes mistakes. and sometimes not always pleasant.

due to my archaic belief system, i have held off introducing our new guinea hog. i have been afraid that if something happened, what would my audience think? i want to protect you. and protect my own ego. but after recently reading my husbands blog, i have a new lease on blog life. i shouldn't censor myself. i want to try and post more often. more photos. less editing. and less worrying about what my non-existent audience is going to think. just tell it like it is. so, here goes.

may i introduce to you ...

penelope, the guinea hog.

since our dear male guinea hog, samson, lost his wife to pneumonia shortly after her arrival. he has been alone. depressed. and very, very needy. we were happy to finally adopt a new little girl hog. penelope. she came all the way from kentucky. where some of the finest whiskey is made. her and sammy have been inseparable ever since.

yes, i did wait over a week to post this. it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. but i'm willing to try.

happy new year.

what a year 2007 has been. what a hard year. 3 surgeries. 3 sisters lost. losing leroy. almost losing someone so very very dear to me (my heart aches just thinking about it). car crash. financial rock bottom. what was the grand finale, you ask? how about the escape of our two new llamas. yes, they decided it would be nicer in a farm two lots down the road.

but 2008, i truly believe, is going to be great. i have my family. my health. my farm. my dogs. my music. a new life. and i get to watch that very dear someone smile and laugh again for the first time in weeks.

look out, new year. we've been waiting for you. we are suited in armor, prepared for victory. we will use you up and then some. and come hell or high water, we will get those stubborn llamas back where they belong.

leroy's famous.

he made it to the main page of "i can has cheezburger" posthumously. and just in time for turkey day. he's at god's table now.

leroy's lament.

porkchop, donkey, chelsea & shade reflect on the life of leroy the turkey in "leroy's lament", the latest episode of "the secret lives of farm animals."

a dog depressed.

it seems ol'choppy has taken leroy's passing the hardest. he's been pouting for days. things are worse when amber's not home. then he worries. he checks her room when the sun goes down. he looks to the hills when he is outside. he ruffles his coat. he howls. and he curses the blasted coyotes that took his turkey friend.

a cold november mourning.

last night a pack of wild coyotes took the life of our dear turkey, leroy. the only comfort i can find: at least he was taken in his sleep, there were no remains save a few feathers, and he had a lovely last two weeks. he enjoyed his bowl, his cookies, and his family. he was charming nosy neighbor. i will miss him with all my heart. there will be no new additions to the farm until we adopt a llama to protect us from coyotes.

mother nature is cruel. nature is obscene. werner herzog put it best in this quote from "Burden of Dreams":

"Nature here is vile and base...The trees here are in misery, and the birds are in misery. I don't think they - they sing. They just screech in pain.....it's like a curse weighing on an entire landscape. And whoever... goes too deep into this has his share of this curse. So we are cursed with what we are doing here. It's a land that God, if he exists has - has created in anger. It's the only land where - where creation is unfinished yet. Taking a close look at - at what's around us there - there is some sort of a harmony. It is the harmony of... overwhelming and collective murder.....We have to become humble in front of this overwhelming misery... overwhelming growth and overwhelming lack of order. Even the - the stars up here in the - in the sky look like a mess. There is no harmony in the universe. We have to get acquainted to this idea that there is no real harmony as we have conceived it. But when I say this, I say this all full of admiration for the jungle. It is not that I hate it, I love it. I love it very much. But I love it against my better judgment."

meet shade & leroy.

i've got two more films up. i have no idea what i'm doing as a film maker. i used the video caption on my camera and some software that we had on our computer. i know they are bad. but they are keeping my feeble mind occupied.

meet shade
meet leroy

and don't worry there are plenty more to come. i have a very large memory card. and lots of time.

- larissa

little leroy eats a cookie.

leroy (the physically disabled turkey) runs, gobbles and eats turkey-shaped sugar cookies while his mentally disturbed mother (played by larissa dalle) narrates in this quirky yet inspiring short film. a must see for turkey enthusiasts and cookie bakers alike.

jive turkey cookie.

i got good news. pathology came back. all negative. there was some fibrous & scar tissue that i'm sure would have warranted future biopsies. so i'm glad it's gone for good. went for follow-up today. still have drainage tubes for at least another week. and i'm in more pain than i expected. but otherwise i am healing very well.

and to celebrate.... leroy cookies (courtesy of amber rook). sugar cookies fashioned in the shape of turkeys. we might even feed ol'leroy a few tomorrow. would that be cruel?

11/09/07 note: there was a photo attached yesterday. it has since disappeared. perhaps because we fed cookies to leroy today. i have no idea. but i hate the internet. also been trying to upload a video of leroy eating the cookie. but it is tied up indefinitely in net-land. technology has gone to the birds.

cha, cha, cha, changes....

what a week it has been. i celebrated halloween in the hospital getting my good breast (well actually at that point it was down-graded to "fair" or "as-is") hacked off. the doctors put me back together a la frankenstein. literally. my new breast is partially made from cadaver skin. how fitting for a halloween mastectomy. i got a sneak peek at hospital before they bandaged me up. looks awesome. maybe the skin came from a neurosurgeon, an olympic athlete or a famous super-model. maybe i will develop super powers. maybe i'll finally be able to dream in french.

this week also marked the arrival of our 70 inch long baby girl. well, she's not really a baby. she's 17 years old and a senior in high school. amber, my step-daughter, has come to live with us permanently due to some unfortunate circumstances beyond her control. the timing was a little weird. most women have 9 months to prepare for motherhood. i had a week. but that is just fine. everything happens for a reason. and i couldn't be more thrilled. i'm so happy she is here. this new house of ours really feels like home now.

in addition to amber, the homestead acquired another family member this weekend. leroy, the turkey. and now for a little background on leroy.... leroy had a rough beginning. he was raised in a cage entirely too small for his body. as he grew, his legs became maimed, his feet became swollen and his wings became broken. jason's parents rescued the poor creature at a local animal sale. he's a funny fellow. loves junk food, especially donuts. he's been pardoned for life. he will never be dinner. he'll get to spent the rest of his days eating bugs, wandering the fields, and eating the occasional hostess ding-dong.

november is gonna be alright....

amber's new room.

leroy's arrival.

mmm.. bread.

radioactive girl rides again.

since my portrayal was so convincing, a repeat performance has been requested. i get to play radioactive girl once more next week. i got the rest of my scans back and apparently there are some spots on my chest that are of concern. so i will be shot up with the dye and sent to the CT scanning bed next thursday. this is in addition to the ultrasound i need for spots on my breast mri. i swear, i will do ANYTHING to get out of work!

happy labor day to all. i am heading south to spend time with the farm animals including the new addition, leroy. perhaps dress up a puppy or two. celebrate my stepdaughter's birthday. and hopefully eat myself into a food coma.

sir leroy.