Wednesday, February 24, 2010

8 is great.

today i celebrate my 8 year crancerversary. 8 years ago, i got the phone call. and the ball started rolling. and i knocked it out of the court. i slayed a dragon. i shot him dead. and all that good stuff.

in the past 8 years, i have joined a rock n'roll band. i married the love of my life. i quit my desk job of 13+ years, cashed in my retirement, bought a small holding farm in the middle o'nowhere missouri. started a small fiber farm (goats, sheep, angora rabbits, and llama). i've learned to spin yarn, fix an electric fence, shoot a shotgun, gut a chicken, use a riding lawn mower. i've been a goat mid-wife. and so many more things. and i'm still learning and growing.

sometimes i get down on myself. thinking that i have wasted time. not made the most of it. i sink into the evils of equating money with success. no, i don't have tons of money. but i always have food. and i have shelter. and i have the most gorgeous view from our kitchen window.

and now, at 8 years, i am faced with some obstacles. a teeny bump in the road with some reconstruction revision surgery. teeny for me, yes. but it disrupts the flow of the farm. i am unable to work for 6 weeks. therefore, my husband has taken on my role on top of his endless regular roles. and even though he won't admit it, i know it is a burden. and i am truly grateful for him. the critters are doing fantastic!

and then there is also the nagging "what if?" lurking around the corner. the dreaded follow-up PET scan in april. we are trying to think positive. and all prayers, good vibes, voodoo, mojo, magic beans, meditation, humor, etc... that you all have been sending our way is so very very welcome and deeply appreciated. we can feel the love. we can.

if my health permits, my surgeon has given be the thumbs up to go to the 10th Annual Young Survival Coalition/Living Beyond Breast Cancer Conference in Atlanta this weekend. many of my dearest friends will be there and i am so looking forward to seeing them. some i have known since my diagnosis. and we will celebrate our survivorship together.

and now i leave you with the cutest egg i have ever seen in my life.....


Tony Patti said...

Our doubts come and go, especially if we remember to let them go. The gratitude we feel for those who love and care for us can crush doubts out of our minds, leaving no room for anything but love. Respect the season of rest and tranquility by inner activity, maybe in songs. No time is ever wasted spent bringing beauty into the world. Money is mere toilet paper, time spent happily is the only wealth we ever really know.

larissa said...

thanks, tony. wise words i will take to heart.

Kate said...

Yay for 8 years!! I'm glad you got the okay for this weekend and hope you're feeling up to it. You seemed much much better after practice on Monday and Tuesday. How was it? I've been meaning to check in. Here's to 8 more, and 8 more, and 8 more, ad nauseum. Yer gonna kick this next thing out of the court too, and we're here on defense with you. Much love today and every day, k

Ps. You guys quit worrying about band stuff. Sam's never gonna let you down. He loves youu both dearly. You've got plenty of bigger badder shit tothink about.

AA said...

HUGS and thumbs up! Live life and never look back, be bold, live free...and, as always, thrive.

Beth said...

I knew you back in the days of Collaborateur and The Vampire's Ball, and I admired you then because you were pursuing something important to you along with the daily grind.

Hearing that you "gave it all up" to (again) do what you felt was really important to you, reminded me that I wish I had your kinda guts.

Reading about your fight with cancer... we'll you've blown me away. You will get through this, and you will be ok.

Susan said...

Larissa: Our thoughts are with you and our confidence in you knows no limits. After all, we trusted you FIRST with our children! susan and jeff