catch up.

spent the last few days "fixing" the fence. our great pyrenees/coonhound mix girls have decided to explore/escape. don't know why the sudden urge to vacate. maybe it's the new cow neighbors in the field behind us. maybe it's the change in seasons. maybe they hate us. whatever the case, it's very disheartening. they dig holes under the electric line. we keep patching. but they keep finding new places to escape. so we've been lining the bottom of fence with chicken wire. this is an expensive and time consuming job. we are doing sections of 150 feet at a time. we still have at least 500 feet more to go. the girls are on lock down until it is resolved. which seems like forever away. visions of last year's llama escapes are front and center in my mind.

why do i worry so much whether they get out or not? one, we live on a state highway (it looks like a regular road, but speed limit is 55. most folks go about 70). two, our girls are big and scary looking. if they got into someone's field and appeared threatening (or worse, actually hurt or killed someone's livestock), they could be shot. three, our goat field is not protected when they aren't in it. so.... i'm a nervous wreck until this escape-frenzy outbreak is contained.

the weather is not cooperating either. rain, snow, rain, mud, cold. maybe more snow. who knows? i have stopped checking the weather. seems like it's always playing catch up. like the weather man is just looking out the window for the forecast. and it's no fun marching up and down the highway wrangling dogs in the rain & snow. it's just not.

i'm beat. and the holidays are here. and i'm broke again. or always. and i know, i know... that's not what the season's about. but that's what it's about. and i'm cold. and my body hurts from walking the fields. and i feel like the weather report, like i'm always playing catch up. and i should be taking pretty pictures and making people laugh. but i don't feel like it.

i'm gonna curl up in my chair with a glass of wine and lean on castaneda to help remind me that "the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable." i'm hoping to escape myself. crawl under the fence. and find my power.