today, i published my first two books, "Porkchop's Farm" and "Porkchop's Farm Family". i have been working on them for what seems like forever but really it's only been about six months. it all started back in may when my dad thought it would be nice to have some photography books for his early childhood development center. i had simultaneously been wanting to create a children's book. my dad graciously commissioned the development of two books featuring photos of my farm. since then, i have been traipsing around in the fields patiently waiting for goats, cows, pigs, donkeys, dogs, and one uncompromising llama to conjure specific scenes.
i did the final proof and uploaded them to blurb.com this morning. you would think i would be beaming with joy. instead, i'm a nervous wreck. i thought i was going to throw up when i hit the "upload" button. why? i don't really know. part of me feels like the books aren't finished. but hey, that's what sequels are for, right? but the other part of me feels like i'm just fooling everybody. i get the same sick feeling when i submit a piece of art to a gallery. this isn't art. this isn't work. it's me playing with a bunch of animals and wrapping it up neatly in a wooden frame or hard-bound book and asking for a hand-out.
or maybe it's just all the pizza i ate for breakfast????