welcome to the dallehouse

today is not the day.

2012-01-23T08:01:00.003-06:00

PET scan is not in the cards for today after all. insurance approval glitch. found out at 3pm on friday. my case has to go before a medical review board. talked to hospital rep and she is pretty sure it will be approved. eventually. just not in time for me to get my monday's fortune told. i wish they hadn't waited until the last minute to figure this out. they did have 4 months.

so more waiting is what is in my future. but i'm getting pretty good at it. and to pass the time... celebrating rosemary's 6 month birthday. and her two front teeth!

monday's fortune.

2012-01-20T07:33:00.005-06:00

here we are. at the end of the 4 month holding period. monday will be the greatly anticipated follow-up PET scan. a white-coated fortune teller will gaze into a crystal computer and all will be revealed. what will my future hold?

i've played so many different scenarios in my head. the spots light up. they have grown. but still not enough to biopsy. then what? wait another excruciating 4 months? or just blindly start treatment and see what happens?

or, there are more spots. maybe one close to the edge of lung that could be surgically removed.

or, the cancer set sail for a distant shore and landed on the aisle of liver or the coast of bone. skeleton. pirates!

or maybe the spots are stable. then what? which is good. but would still warrant future scans. ongoing. with me leading my family into the great unknown. forever.

but that is really what life is. the great unknown. forever. we don't ever know our exact future. we can get maps. and statistics. and pieces of information to help guide us. but life is a mystery.

i do hope, though, that this test gives me a clue. right now i feel stagnant. caught in a proverbial bermuda triangle. like bill murray in ground hog day. i need to move forward. i need an answer. whatever it may be.

and i have already picked out several wigs in case chemo is in order. my favorite is huge and blue with pink highlights and antlers growing out of a fabulous sequined headband. and no, i'm not thinking negatively by envisioning myself needing chemo. planning ahead helps me cope. and shit, even if i don't need chemo, i might just wear a a crazy wig anyway. and a ballgown. and have tea with rosemary and the goats. whilst we tell tales of pirates and gypsies. and ground hogs. especially the elusive belgrade bill. who does exist.

goodbye mr moscow

2011-12-20T07:21:00.009-06:00

the czar is dead. he passed away in his sleep. amongst his flock. he came ill and was hospitalized for a week at the rook farm animal hospital. but such a majestic bird cannot be caged. he gained enough strength to be reunited with his flock who greeted him with respect and awe. happy, he was, to see his dominion once again. and he spent his last two days saying his goodbyes and passing on his wisdom to his son, bluscovy.

the rook farm will not be the same without this incredible bird. he will be missed.

a most thankful thanksgiving.

2011-11-30T07:54:00.005-06:00

the wednesday before thanksgiving, i am heading to the grocery store. i know, crazy. dreading the crowds, i stop off at post office first. to postpone the inevitable chaos. i see a little yellow slip in my post office box. a sign that a package is being held. already, my mood is elevating. it's my books! a shipment of my latest book "baby animals" which is filled with colorful photographs of what i love most on our farm... baby goats, baby geese, baby pigs, baby sheep, and baby chickens.

now i'm back in my car and still procrastinating. anything to delay grocery shopping on such a busy day. so i thumb through my mail. there are a couple envelopes from the department of social services. i open the first one. it looks like some sort of bill. i open the second one. another bill? i can't tell. i open the third one... i have been approved for medicaid under the "aged, blind and disabled" program!!!!!! can this be true??? i read some more. yes, my records have been reviewed my a medical board and i have BEEN APPROVED for medicaid with a very affordable spend down monthly premium!!!!! WOW! suddenly i can't stop smiling. i feel like buddy the elf.

i am no longer procrastinating anything. i am just giddy. at the store, i float down the aisles. greeting everyone with a huge grin. i want to yell out, "i can go to a doctor! i can have my PET scan! i can receive chemo, if necessary!"

the next day, we have our family over for rosemary's first thanksgiving. we enjoy our homegrown turkey and pork. rosemary enjoys her organic rice cereal (which she just began to feed on by turning the magical four months of age). and we all go around the table and say what we are thankful for: family, continued health, delicious fall harvest food, and health insurance...

oh, and of course, rosemary!

waiting.

2011-11-06T08:55:00.021-06:00

as a child, i remember waiting for santa on christmas eve. trying to stay up as late as i could to get a peek. only to fall asleep and awake the next morning to what i swore were footprints in the fireplace. as a teenager, i camped outside the famous barr building all night for fleetwood mac tickets. 10th row center. and recently, i muddled through nine months of swollen belly and insomnia for a beautiful baby girl.

but here i am, today, waiting for a metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. not exactly the present i want to unwrap.

rewind to january of last year. i had shortness of breath. a CT scan discovered some spots on my lung. spots that had never been there before. we kept a close eye on them. they seemed stable after 6 months. and finally, 8 years after my original breast cancer diagnosis, i got the ok from my oncologist to try and have a baby. much to my surprise, i got pregnant right away. and i got to put cancer on hold. i didn't even think about cancer for 9 months. it was great. i got to eat ice cream. and go to baby showers. the only scans i needed to think about were the monthly ultrasounds. and those were fun. i got to see my baby girl's face for the first time.

six weeks after my daughter was born, i went back to hospital for my postpartum follow-up and to see my oncologist for a yearly check-up. i glided into the waiting room. photos in hand of my beautiful girl. all smiles.

as predicted, a CT scan was ordered. just to make sure those spots were still stable. i didn't even really think twice about it. it was just an inconvenience. a two hour drive to the city. and something that was keeping me away from my daughter for an afternoon.

the shock hit when i got the phone call that the CT scan was abnormal. nodules had grown. a PET scan was needed. and now an extra worry, my pregnancy medicaid was expiring in three days. and until the health care reform bill becomes active in 2014, it is almost impossible for me to obtain insurance due to my history of breast and skin cancer and pernicious anemia without paying exorbitant premiums and a ridiculous deductible. PET scans cost thousands of dollars. thankfully, my oncologist's office was able to schedule the scan that friday. so another afternoon lost. driving to the big city. and lying on a table with radioactive glucose coursing through my veins.

the following monday morning at 7:30, i got a call direct from my oncologist. the PET scan showed activity. shit, shit, shit! the nodules had lit up. she mentioned a needle biopsy. or waiting and scanning in four months. i don't know. she might have said more but it was all a blur. fog. surreal. she asked what i wanted to do. i had no idea. i needed to think. i asked for a copy of scan reports to be sent to me (like i am an expert?). and i would call her back. a lung biopsy just seemed so severe. and invasive.

i had my daughter with me when i picked up reports from the post office the next day.i ripped open the envelope as soon as we got back in the car. i had read my reports before. they always said "possible recurrence" or "need to be watched closely" or "could be infection" (as a ray of hope). i really wasn't expecting to read that one of the nodules had doubled in size and that the findings "were consistent with pulmonary metastases". no other explanation given. just flat out mets. in black and white. my heart dropped. i looked at my baby girl sleeping peacefully in her car seat. i broke down. tears. sobs. thoughts of not being there to see her grow up. remembering what i had just read about breast cancer lung mets during a google search. how the average survival was 5 years. 5 years???? she wouldn't even be in kindergarten yet! my heart was full of bricks. and there was no air left in the car. i looked back at my daughter. i needed to pull myself together and drive. so i took a deep breath, fought back the tears, and drove home.

after more googling and talking it over with myself, i decided i should try and get the needle biopsy. it wasn't as invasive as i thought. outpatient. and i'd be back to normal activities the next day. so i called my oncologist to schedule. bad news. radiologist did not think needle biopsy was possible. my options were wait 4 months and rescan or talk to thoracic surgeon about possible surgical biopsy. and so my oncologist referred me to a surgeon.

i was really hoping surgeon would look at scans and say that he could do a needle biopsy after all. but unfortunately, my largest nodule was too deep in my lung and still too small to access with needle. a surgical removal would be very invasive and just not a good idea. i would be out on bed rest for a month. and removing just one nodule still wouldn't be a cure. i have multiple nodules and they are in different parts of my lung. so really the only option i have is to wait the 4 months.

why wait? why can't we just start treatment? because we still don't know without a doubt that it is cancer. a biopsy is proof. proof that comes with pathology. cancers can mutate over time. pathology would give us a treament blueprint. and there is still hope that this could be some benign anomaly. and if we started chemo, and nodules got smaller, we wouldn't know if it was due to chemo or by their own b9 ways.

so i wait. i wait until january 23 for my next PET scan. which we will pay for out of pocket and hope that a nodule has grown large enough to biopsy. so that i can be officially diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. and hopefully then, i can receive medicaid (via disability). and chemo. and oh, won't life be good?

or even better, i could get a phone call on january 24 saying that those nodules have mysteriously disappeared and left only a faint footprint in the fireplace.

i guess i'm one of those.

2011-08-31T09:09:00.010-05:00

i vowed i wouldn't be one of those people who flooded their facebook page with photos of their baby. you know... those people, that after giving birth, they lose their identity. what happened to the photos of road trips? artwork? pets? sexy self portraits? but on july 21, my daughter was born. and i changed. though, not immediately. in the hospital i was still very adamant about limiting the amount of internet exposure i would give to photos of my newborn. i felt overly protective and private. needless to say, i was also without a camera and in lots of postpartum pain.

i love photography. i miss it. i used to walk the farm grounds daily with my camera. taking photos of baby goats chatting, baby chickens hatching, dogs digging holes, horses laughing, ducks and geese clowning. i love capturing moments. i especially anthropomorphic ones. but during the last few months of pregnancy, it was impossible. it was too hot. i was too big and too tired.

when i returned home from the hospital, for the first week, i held fast to my baby-net-posting restrain. i only posted a few photos on my facebook page. you know, to prove that i really did give birth.

since it is was still the middle of missouri-hell-hot summer and i was supposed to be taking it easy, i wasn't able to spend much time outside with the animals. but i missed my camera. so i took a couple shots of my daughter. and so it began...

here i am 6 weeks later. trying very hard to resist the urge to post another photo. and failing. and didn't i already post one yesterday? i even try tricks like including the dogs in the photos. to make them more legit. i guess i'm one of those people now.

oy vey!

cafe press store back by popular demand!

2011-05-11T10:30:00.001-05:00

please check out my cafe press store featuring del ray, tito, herbert and many more!

elliot's return.

2011-04-28T15:14:00.012-05:00

elliot, the snapping turtle, came out of hibernation and returned to the rook farm today. to refresh your memory, elliot was the baby snapping turtle my friend susan rescued from the highway during her visit here over two years ago. we kept him inside our house during that winter and gave him food and shelter. in the spring, he was released into one of our ponds where he quickly disappeared into the muddy waters.

last year, i was convinced i saw him again. he had grown. about the size of a medium box turtle. i got close to him and called his name. i swear his eyes recognized mine. he looked at me a while. never once did he snap. we sat together by the pond, enjoying the sunshine and then parted ways.

this morning i noticed the dogs were putting up quite a fuss at the front gate. barking low and into the grass. i went outside to take a look. what i found startled me a bit. a giant snapping turtle trying desperately to get through our range wire and into our yard. i carefully bent down to take a look. he looked at me and i knew it was elliot. he had come home!

i scooped him up with a shovel and placed him in a bucket to keep him (and my hands) safe. then i transported him to the far field where his summer home awaited him. along the way, i attracted quite a crowd of curious pigs. when we got to the pond, i let elliot crawl out of bucket. where he immediately let pigs know who the new boss was. after a few snouts were snapped, the pigs caught on and went about their business. elliot stood at waterfront. i called his name and he looked up at me. i said welcome home. he looked at me for some time. then turned and swam off into the muddy waters. disappearing once again.

personal bucket transport

elliot returns to pond

strange friends

2011-03-03T13:28:00.006-06:00

we have always encouraged inter-species friendships here on the rook farm. here is a video of the latest...

new creations

2011-01-25T08:08:00.006-06:00

finally! new stuff up on etsy. purses! headbands! flower pins! adorned with hand-carded and hand-spun yarn! pics below. or check out my etsy store at: www.etsy.com/shop/dallehouse

wintertime and the living is breezy

2010-12-21T08:42:00.007-06:00

a wise sweater-chop supervises

goose ballet

strider!

annie warms up inside

junior is ready for rabbit season

tito flirts with camera

herschel fully recovered from rehab

a rare shot of camera-shy eunice

What do bad dogs do while you are away?

2010-11-05T14:45:00.005-05:00

del ray thought about it, "i'm here alone. what should i do?"

"i should sit on the kitchen table! king of castle!"

"it's just not fun if i don't get caught."

ballad of the sad mini pin.

2010-10-25T09:31:00.002-05:00

numb digits and muddy piglets

2010-10-06T13:17:00.007-05:00

my hands are still numb. so are my feet. doc said it could take 6 weeks to notice a difference from b12 injections. so, i'm hopeful. i know i had promised to make this blog a self exorcism of sorts whilst i cannot write with pen and paper. i'm sure you've been waiting with baited breath to peek into the depths of my madness/genius. sorry to disappoint. but it's not going to happen. apparently typing is more awkward for me than my crippled-ass hand holding a pen like a child holds a crayon. so i'm back to dusting off my brain into the contents of my trusty old pocket journal. albeit, i probably won't be able to read it a week from now. children have terrible penmanship.

good news is... we can now return to anthropomorphic photos of my farm animals! this week: piglets.

piglets love baths as much as they love mud

long sally and white paw cheesing it up

white paw is the lyrical gangster

long sally's flirty look

happy breast cancer month, y'all.

2010-10-01T10:55:00.006-05:00

get out your pink ballgowns. tie ribbons in your hair. feel your boobies. and remember all the sisters, mothers, friends, lovers that have been touched by this dreaded disease. poor a glass of wine and toast to those you have loved, and those you have lost, those who are still fighting, and those who give their time and energy and support. and if you have some extra change in your pocket, donate to one of the many wonderful organizations that help breast cancer survivors. my favorite local charity is "gateway to hope" .

(photo above - kristi and me, 8 year survivors!)

lord... i'm so tired.

2010-09-30T15:58:00.009-05:00

as any egomaniac would do... i love to quote myself. hence the title of this post.

i mean it. i'm tired down to my very bones. been sneaking up on me for some time. thought it was neuropathy leftover from chemo years back. recent blood work showed i'm crazy low in b12. and abnormal in several other related blood factors. so low that it has turned my hands numb, my feet numb, sometimes even my lips. i can barely write with a pen. my hearing goes in and out. and the tears... the tears they fall so easily these days.

when i heard the news i was like... gee... i must not know how to eat. but in fact, that is not the case. i eat plenty of b12 (cheese, eggs, meat, bread). i also eat a balanced diet with lots of fresh veggies from our garden. but apparently, my body can't absorb the b12. we don't know why yet. maybe a autoimmune disorder. maybe intestinal issues. maybe we might never know. but now, and possibly for the rest of my life, i get to give myself b12 injections.

this week, i had a nurse teach me how to give myself a shot. ok, i can give a pig a shot. a goat a shot. a dog a shot. but it totally freaks me out putting a needle into my OWN skin and muscle. but, i'm brave. and i'll give it a go. next shot is in two weeks.

it's just so frustrating. my hands are my life. i play piano. i spin yarn. i crochet. i milk a cow. and i write. preferably with pen and paper. that's how songs happen. right now i can barely hold a pen. so i'm gonna attempt writing on computer for a while. but i'm old fashioned. and ritualistic. and insane. and stubborn.

oh, and a recent CT scan of my chest showed that those spots on my lungs didn't magically disappear as i had thought back in may. they are still there. but they are stable. and my oncologist isn't worried about them right now. so i will try my hardest not too either.

and surprisingly, a recent brain MRI showed that my brain is "grossly normal". ha! take that, science!

so forgive me if my future blog posts might tend to be less fantastical-animal-photo-montages and more like a poorly written autobiographical emotional exorcism. i me me mine.

and now to go along with this narcissistic trend... here are some photos of me (courtesy of kristi collins).

the glamorous life

me and kristi laughing in our beer

my girls

the lace and microphones diet

a pond is a beautiful thing.

2010-09-14T16:00:00.004-05:00

it finally rained! after months of excessive heat and drought, a steady rain fell and replenished our ponds. boy oh boy do the ducks like it!

milky milk.

2010-09-07T19:30:00.007-05:00

this weekend, a 1000 pound animal was delivered to my doorstep. may the milk cow. and i feel transformed. i'm on a whole new level of farming. i feel old timey. and yet simultaneously progressive. but mostly, i'm just completely in awe. this giant animal gives forth milk. something of which i am not capable (see breast cancer). she has taken to our farm immediately. making it her own. and settling into a routine. so effortlessly.

first day's milking (i'm up to two gallons a day now!)

and i am not the only family member that has fallen head over heels for may. the dogs, pigs, chickens are in heaven. and the cat who rarely shows emotion. well, he is... reluctantly content.

pigs love milk!

a milk-nosed chop

jerry says, " i don't mind if i do"

and later has milk obsession embarrassment

droseph growsheph.

2010-08-24T22:42:00.003-05:00

droseph is growing by leaps and bounds. such growth spurts can zap a pup of energy... if only for brief moments. one of which, i captured today.

everything's ducky.

2010-08-19T19:37:00.007-05:00

we had three days of nice weather! what a pleasant surprise. i finally got a chance to weed the garden. wow! i pulled enough grass to feed our horse, llama and all 10 pigs. it was great.

the baby ducks finally graduated from the brooder. they successfully moved to the barn and are loving it. although, still a bit shy to venture out into the fields, they do enjoy the barnyard.

along with ducks, the chickens have been relocated to the barn. it is safer over there. free from four-legged predators. they seem to like their new digs as well.

the geese were miffed at the winged competition for like a minute. then decided to keep their chin (bill) up and return to their silly and entertaining ways.

the heat returned today. hot, hot, hot. and still no rain. no substantial rain in 10 day forecast, either. it's crazy. i was walking the fields today and the ground was dust. but this farm was built in 1930's during the great depression and dust bowl. if it could survive then, it will survive now.

mr mosow walks!

2010-08-11T13:36:00.011-05:00

the drake that suffered a heat stroke last week, recently graduated from the indoor bathtub to a private rehab pen/suite outside next to my garden. he's been eating and drinking well but still hasn't been able to walk. today he took his first steps! and what magnificent steps they are! i told you statistics have got nothing on me or mr moscow.

beat the heat with comic relief.

2010-08-09T14:40:00.010-05:00

choppy learns his ABC's (always be closing)

a glimpse at the elusive jerry cat

oh brother!

del ray's orbit gum commercial

raspberry dream

LOL!

you gotta walk down that road...

august, the saddest month.

2010-08-05T14:11:00.016-05:00

the heatwave continues. it grows and grows. and never stops. 100+ temps. heat index of 110. for days on end. and no rain.

several days ago, we had a baby duck drop from the heat. he was limp, almost dead. i brought him inside. cooled him in bathtub. at one point even gave him mouth to mouth. he perked up with in 24 hours. i kept him inside for an extra day. and when i knew he was fully recovered, i reintroduced him to the outdoor flock.

then yesterday, mother nature wreaked havoc on our farm. we lost 3 animals to the heat. despite our best efforts, i lost my dear rabbit, armel. i lost a juvenile turken. and i lost a muscovy duck. the muscovy i found still alive. i brought him inside and i tried cooling him, feeding him, re- hydrating him. but it was too late. he didn't survive the night.

this morning i awoke to find another muscovy down. i have him in the bathtub now with a fan. i'm giving him water + electrolytes. i use a cold compress every couple hours. i talk to him. i make him eat and drink. he is weak but fighting. and i have a good feeling he will make it. although the odds are against him. heat exhaustion in ducks has almost a 100% mortality rate. but statistics haven't met me. and they haven't met this duck.

in addition to the heat causing losses, a predator has been invading our chicken field. i first noticed last week. when there were white feathers in two big piles near the pond and chicken house. i assumed something got in the chicken house at night. four adult chickens were missing. a new lock was installed and the chicken house door has been secured every night since. meanwhile adult chickens are continuing to go missing. something is stealing our chickens. something that is not afraid to hunt during the day. something that is not leaving a trace. most likely a fox or young coyote. so unfortunately chickens are on 24-7 lock down for a while until we figure a solution. either relocate chickens to our goat field. or install electric fencing on our 4 acres of chicken pasture.

but the saddest loss of all, was the loss of our dear friend and musician dave hagerty. a hit and run accident took his life. his girlfriend, ellen cook, was with him. she survived with a broken arm. and a broken heart. i don't even know what to say. except i'm really going to miss him. his band, fattback, was my favorite local band... hands down. i loved watching them play. i loved doing shows with them. some of the best musical memories of my life. and singing "whipping post" with the boys... my cloud nine. i can't believe it is over. i want an encore. i want more.

"whipping post"

my heart goes out to ellen, dave's family, his friends and fans. and ellen, if you need to get away to the country, you are always welcome here. we have a piano. and goats, and sheep, and dogs. and one crazy llama that loves visitors.

global warming... or a very bitchy mother nature?

2010-07-27T15:54:00.007-05:00

summer is here. and it's a real booger. this heat is relentless. i don't know why i bother checking the forecast. it is always in the 90s with a high heat index and heat warnings week after week forever and ever. sometimes mother nature might get a wild hair to drop down to the 80s. but it's a high 80s. and she counters that with extreme humidity.

luckily, we finally have had some rain. however, the rain arrived in spontaneous thunderstorms followed by immediately sunny skies. never enough steady rain to fill our ponds (which dried up again since last post). fortunately, our pigs have made a wallow deep enough in their pond to collect water when it rains. the duck/geese/goat/sheep pond is now mud only. so an old bath-tub is a make-shift swimming pool for water fowl. and water troughs and dishes are set out for hoofed creatures. animals don't seem to mind. it just adds a lot more work on us humans.

it has been enough rain to perk up the fields and the garden. cucumbers and tomatoes galore! the bigger the better! lots of pickles and salsa from here on out.

back to the heat... how hot has it been? it's been so hot, our computer fan burnt up. until we have time to repair, i am using a back-up laptop which does not have a slot for my camera card. so you will have to settle for words only.

if there were photos... they would be of our male goats and male sheep. the boys are back in town (front lawn). yes, it is time for the sexes to be separated. our flock is big enough now to make this possible. and the lawn is full of beautiful green grass and wild flowers. the boys are thrilled. the GLOPs are happy to be reunited with their hoofed friends. and i love looking out the kitchen door in the morning while i make coffee to see tito and marton peeking in asking, "what's for breakfast?"

somewhere in storage there is a box containing an adaptor for my camera that i believe can be plugged into my computer for instant download. if so, photos will be forthcoming. to be continued....

in the meantime. pray for steady rain, cloudy skies, and cooler temps. and while you are at it, pray for peace, and love, and unicorns, a clean gulf coast, and magical garden gnomes that will do all your weeding whilst you sleep. a girl can dream.

time does fly...

2010-07-11T13:18:00.009-05:00

the last few weeks on the farm have brought extreme heat and drought. our pig pond dried up. buckets of water have been carried. hoses set up. and lots of watermelons, cucumbers and corn-on-the-cob have been dispensed to quench our 2 adult and 8 piglets intense thirst.

luckily rain arrived on thursday and friday. replenishing the pond. and hopefully reviving our fields which have turned a november-golden-brown. not good for our exclusively pasture raised livestock. there is more rain in forecast all week. this should give the grass a second life and by next week the fields should be green once more. at least, that is my plan. but nature is hard to harness.

droseph, however, has not been affected by drought. he is growing like a weed. and finds the free-choice food available via the "chow hound" to be quite delightful.

baby ducks are hatching daily. however, one muscovy mom has a hard time raising her kids and tends to lose them out in the field. provenance farm DFS (duck family services) has had to intervene on occasion and place babies in a temporary brooding area until they are older. it doesn't seem to stop her from laying more eggs as seen below.

last but not least... a tito update. our little orphaned pygora goat is doing great. his horns are crazy long. and he does now, in fact, have a beard. seems like only yesterday he was curled up on my lap with a ninny bottle. time does fly when you live on a farm.

alejandro finds a home....

2010-07-01T16:34:00.007-05:00

if you all recall, my stepdaughter almost hit a poor starving pup a few months back while she was driving along a nearby highway. she rescued him, took him home and named him alejandro (yes, after the song). however, since stepdaughter is still a college student and currently in between jobs and apartments, she knew she could not keep him. but could not bare the thought of taking him to a shelter. so, where do ALL forlorn wayward pups head when in doubt? .... that's right, to our farm.

so for the past two months we have been fostering him. trying to find him a forever home. i've posted weekly updates on facebook. having him pose for photo after photo. many people commented on his cuteness. many have wished if only they lived closer or had more room. believe me, i understand. dogs are a gigantic responsiblity. especially large dogs. i have even said that i would keep him in a heartbeat if we weren't already all full-up on dogs. in fact i have often sung to him "i'm not your mom, i'm not your mom, alejandro. you're not my dog, you're not my dog, alejandro."

but time has gone by and his puppy teeth are making way for big-boy teeth. he has made friends with the animals here on our farm. especially our black mouth cur dog, little bit. they are inseparable. and we have fallen in love with his awkward puppy paws that are much too big for his body. and that face. that hound-dog face.

the thought of him being torn from this place and rehomed just didn't seem right. dogs lose trust after being rehomed. and this would have been at least the 3rd home he'd lived in his short little life. as nice a new home and family would be, i felt like the change at this point in his developmental stage would be detrimental.

can you feel where this is going??

so... a farm family meeting was called. all dogs voted. even sampson the pig voted. and all were in favor of keeping alejando (or droseph as we call him) on as a full fledged member of provenance farm.

dro and his mentor, little bit

little ann giving her smile of approval

lulu voted with her tongue

the celebratory welcoming hug

even del ray is happy!

happy father's day!

2010-06-20T08:13:00.007-05:00

dad! even though you live so far away, you are always in my heart. looking forward to your next visit. and so is baby snakes! have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love, larissa

band your head...

2010-06-14T15:51:00.012-05:00

for sale! headbands adorned with crocheted flowers made from hand-carded hand-spun yarn. all fiber compliments of the lovely animals at provenance farm. $15/each

right now i've got them in red/orange, blueberry, espresso, and teal/pink. will take custom orders if you want a different color.

blueberry

espresso

teal/pink

alejandro

2010-06-10T09:06:00.006-05:00

please adopt this stray pup! my stepdaughter found him starving to death along the highway after witnessing him almost being hit several times. she took him to nearest building to ask if it was their dog or if they knew who the pup belonged to. the response was horrifying! the person said it wasn't their dog and if they saw it again they would shoot it! my stepdaughter quickly placed dog in her truck and got out of there.

we have been calling him alejandro or "dro" for short. he's a smart and sweet puppy. who likes to play. he loves toys. and food! he looks like a cross between some kind of hound dog and a red heeler cattle dog. he still has puppy teeth and puppy nails. so, my guess is he has a long way to grow.

please adopt him! if you can't, tell all your friends about this beautiful boy! he needs a forever home fast!

where the wild things are...

2010-06-07T18:40:00.004-05:00

apparently wild things grow inside trees!

alexander the baby (who i suppose has been promoted to "alexander the toddler" but i like the sound of baby so we'll stick with that) visited the farm this weekend. the animals still love him and he still loves animals. if not even more that before. seeing the looks on children's faces really makes all the hard work here worthwhile. such pure wonder and amazement is contageous!

baby alexander greets the geese

and the baby chicks

he catches a pig's kiss with his fist

"gimme five, babysnakes"

and the beat goes on...

2010-06-03T14:09:00.007-05:00

so, as my handful of readers out there already know, this year has been a booger of a medical roller coaster. persistent cough. shortness of breath. discovering lung spots. discovering ruptured implant. replacement surgery. cancelling shows. putting music on hold. monitoring lung spots. thinking cancer is back. praying for stable spots. and trying to keep life as normal as possible in the meantime. and finally it's memorial day... and i get results of latest scan. spots are gone! not just stable. but miraculously gone! celebration!

still, in the back of my mind, i'm thinking, why do i still cough? why do my lungs hurt? why do i get so tired? yes, it's not cancer. but what the frak is it? and then yesterday, i get the actual printed copy of PET scan results in mail. and guess what? report states that i have mild centrilobular emphysema. i must admit, it's a bit scary, but nothing i can't handle. at least it explains my symtoms. and i've caught it early. i don't smoke anymore. i eat great. i get plenty o'exercise on the farm.

i would like to thank everyone who has supported me this year. those who came out to the benefit concert. those who sent cards, food, smiles, jokes. i'd be lost without you. i'd especially like to thank my husband. who always seems to be overshadowed by my health. if you see him, give him a hug. tell him he's the cat's pajamas. and know that he is my rock. my rock & roll.

speaking of rock.... wormwood scrubs has entered the studio. watch out! new album has a song that is over 20minutes long. and look for us returning to the stage later this summer. can't wait any longer!

i leave you with a few pics from the memorial day weekend. sam, kate and ophelia came down to celebrate. ophelia and kate had fun visiting all the critters. sam, had fun recording. and i had fun admiring my hand-decorated commemorative celebratory bottle o'beam.

ta da!

kate and ophelia throwin' rocks in the pond (good ol'fashioned fun)

rock n roll mirror

ophelia got goosed!

the two sams

pure joy!

goodnight, shade.

2010-05-16T14:59:00.008-05:00

shade

1992-2010

shade, my dearest old cat, the last of the three wise cats, passed away last night in my lap watching a light romantic comedy. shade was the sweetest cat i have ever known. he loved all animals. and fully embraced our move from city to farm three years ago. he loved being outdoors during the day with his rabbits and indoors at night watching over the baby birds. many of the poultry here owe their lives to his kind supervision. our farm will never be the same.

shade watching over the bunnies

enjoying the grass

surveying the lawn

the three wise cats circa 2002

(nico, chelsea, & shade)

super shade

shade post

goodbye, friend

nothing says spring like baby chicks!

2010-04-29T11:50:00.006-05:00

our little black rogue hen hatched a gazillion baby chickens on sunday/monday. some are hers. some are pure turken babies (that the turken hens layed in her nest). she couldn't have timed it better. the weather has been beautiful this week with a break in the rain. and today it is supposed to get up to a sunny 80 degrees! here are a few photos of the baby chicken brigade out for a stroll.

tonight's the night.

2010-04-16T08:45:00.010-05:00

well, tonight is finally here. the greatest show in st louis. all my friends getting together to play some music and help me forget my troubles. i am so completely blown away by all the outpouring of support. i'm speechless. or shall i say, type-less.

saw new specialist and had a pulmonary function test. it came back normal. was kinda hoping for asthma. i know it's weird to hope for asthma. but it's better than the alternative. so i'm back to square one. a follow-up PET scan should be next on my calendar. maybe for may or june. to check and see if my spots have grown. so, more waiting.

in the meantime, i've been trying to get back to a normal life. got 3/4 of my garden ready for planting. and actually did plant the strawberries, leeks, and collard greens. might try and get my herbs in the ground today or tomorrow.

we had shearing day on the farm easter weekend. i now have my days and nights cut out for me for the next 6 months. beautiful mohair, pygora, and icelandic wool to wash, card, and spin. promise to have lots of yarn, hats, and accessories available for opening day of tower grove market on may 8th. this is the first year our farm will be participating. look for us, provenance farm. we'll have eggs, fiber products, and will be taking orders for duck and turkey meat available this fall.

herchel & bianka before

bianka, leon & herschel after

bianka's beautiful locks washed and drying

what's up doc?

2010-04-09T18:07:00.010-05:00

so i met with pulmonary specialist this week. still trying to figure out what is going on with my lungs. i am having a new test run next week. hopefully, that will shed some light as i feel i have wasted the first 3 months of 2010 in medical limbo.

i need to get back to life. back to reality. we are knee deep in pre-gardening season and i have to get to work on my garden plot. jason tilled it last week. so now, it just needs raking and ground cover (straw) for weed management. but i get so winded and tired after only an hour of work that i'm only getting about one row done a day. but that's how you eat an elephant. one bite at a time. and by the end of next week, my garden should be all ready for seeds.

i'm also going to have to rabbit proof (chicken wire) the garden as armel jr and josephine jr (i know i really should come up with more original names but they look EXACTLY like their mom & dad) are completely wild and have access to all fields until we re-do the rabbit field and make it baby-rabbit-proof.

armel jr & josephine jr hangin while little bit supervises

the ducks are still sitting. chicken little still sitting. and oh, i do believe we are expecting piglets in may as well. i happened to witness "the act" back in february. the gestation period of a pig is 3 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days. and i do believe ms penelope is starting to show. i think she will make a wonderful mother. samson is requesting cuban cigars if anybody knows where we can get contra ban?

proud mom to be (cloven hooves crossed)

the chicken who thinks she is a duck.

2010-04-06T13:41:00.010-05:00

we've got this rogue chicken. she is super tiny. a result of a game-bird rooster and one of our americauna hens breeding. she's a little runty thing. and has recently abandoned her chicken family in the chicken house, preferring the company of ducks in the big barn. i usually see her early in the morning by the pond while the ducks are taking baths. she follows them around and tries to blend in. well, yesterday morning, i didn't see her down by the pond. and i also didn't see two of our female ducks. the ducks have been building nests in the barn for a week or so. and i have been hoping they would start sitting. meanwhile, our little black chicken has been building her own nest of eggs a few feet away from one of the duck nests but separated by the kidding pen wall. well, guess who started sitting too?

chicken little nesting pretty

thankfully, there is a male turken (transylvanian naked neck chicken) who lives in the barn with a couple of his ladies. so the eggs are fertilized. in 21 days we should have baby chickens. lord knows what they will look like. tiny black chickens with naked necks. can't wait!

spring fever.

2010-04-01T16:12:00.013-05:00

wow! it was 84 degrees yesterday. and 4 days before that it was below freezing and i had to bring baby goat marton inside for the evening. spring weather is crazy!

marton is doing well. we had a scare with him 2 days ago when he had a touch of frothy bloat and constipation. two things that are incredibly serious in baby goats. i caught it in time. and was able to administer enemas which eventually revived his peristaltic action and alleviated the gas from his rumen. i am so relieved. i was not about to lose our newest little guy. it was pretty much the nastiest thing i've ever had to do. and i'm sure he was as confused as i, but it worked. and he is thriving now in this warm spring weather.

i had my 6 week follow-up with my plastic surgeon regarding my implant replacement. it went great. i've healed up nicely. and have been allowed to start doing yoga and farming again!

tried my hand at a little garden work today since the sun was shining. but got very winded after only 1/2 an hour. which was discouraging. but it's hard to get upset when it is an absolutely gorgeous day outside. i did get a chance to peek at the soil in last year's garden. it is a beautiful rich dark color. can't wait to till it and start planting our seedlings. the tower grove farmer's market is coming up in just 5 short weeks! opening day is may 8th. look for more info on our provenance farm blog.

seedlings a growin'

as for my breathing issues, i was able to get an appointment with a great pulmonary specialist next week. he comes highly recommended. and am hoping we can get to the bottom of what is happening with my lungs. wish me luck.

and now, some gratuitous doggy photos (taken during last weekend's thunder storms). all dogs took full advantage!

the GLOPs

little bit (in MY chair) because...

the beagles claimed little bit's chair

and choppy in jason's chair

Feel Your Boobies

2010-03-26T09:01:00.004-05:00

a great organization. a great cause. feel your boobies. i did. and it saved my life.

http://www.feelyourboobies.com/
http://www.facebook.com/feelyourboobies

results in.... survey says... more tests.

2010-03-23T13:58:00.005-05:00

first off, let me share the good news. echo and bloodwork are fabulous. always knew i had a good heart. :-)

CT doesn't show any new activity. but the spots are still there. so i'm being referred to a pulmonary specialist. i'm sure lots of fun tests and adventures lie around that corner.

meanwhile, i'm still having trouble breathing. and having chest pain. and still on limited activity orders from my surgery last month. which is making me stir crazy and frustrated and i'm sure driving my husband nuts. BUT, i've only more week until surgical follow-up and then i should be able to go back to my cherished yoga and farming. i'm really hoping that the introduction of aerobic exercise will help my breathing. right now, i can hardly get through singing a song without getting winded. which is el sucko!

but spring is here at last. little marton has moved outside. tonight will be his first night to sleep in the barn (instead of in our house). hope he does ok. he seems quite healthy and strong but he's not out of the woods yet. so wish him luck!

and now for that embarrassing tito video i promised....

sorry about the shaky camera and the lens cap. i was being attacked by a hungry and shameless seven month old pygora goat!

baby goats are great distractions...

2010-03-20T17:30:00.009-05:00

rewind back to january when i went to oncologist for follow-up, had chest CT, then PET scan and found out i had a ruptured left implant and new spots on my right lung. then, being told that i had to wait until end of april for another PET scan to see if spots had grown. jump to february when i had implant replacement surgery where all went well. new implant in place and looks fabulous. then finally, skip to march where i started getting really sick, low-grade fever, shortness of breath, chest pain, racing heart. some i'm sure are stress. some are from a cold i picked up along the way. but some of these symptoms, honestly, just plain scare me. so i saw my oncologist last week. she ordered another chest CT, an EKG, and some blood work. blood work came back perfect. but the CT & EKG results weren't in before this weekend started. remember, i HATE waiting. especially for potentially devastating or hopefully B9 results.

so what is a poor girl in stitches, recovering from surgery, who is freaking out and hyperventilating frequently supposed to do to pass the time? how bout be entertained by some ridiculously cute baby goats.

the weather this week has been warm enough for little marton to start spending his days outside with the flock. tito, the other loner and former bottle-baby, has been showing marton around. introducing him to all his friends, especially the chickens and ducks. the transition was going rather smoothly until..... tito got wind of marton's milk bottle. uh oh! who would think that a 7 month old goat who has been weaned for at least 4 months would still want a ninny bottle? and who would think said goat would actually try and steal a poor 3 week old little newborn goat's milk from said little newborn. well, actually... i did. i pretty much knew this would happen. and it was so freaking cute i had to take a picture. there is also a video i will post as soon as i have downloaded it off my camera and reformatted for the web. so look out for that in near future.

yes, baby goats are a wonderful distraction.

tito greeting marton

marton meeting armel jr.

marton and the gang

tito stealing marton's ninny bottle (now that's just sad)

del ray and marton.

2010-03-14T11:07:00.006-05:00

an odd couple for sure. del ray really is not found of marton to say the least. del ray is a jealous guy. marton is a stubborn brat. he is fearless, relentless and also stinks. but when it comes to sleeping in luxury... compromise wins.

little bit "nursing" márton

2010-03-06T09:41:00.003-06:00

meet márton

2010-03-05T11:28:00.012-06:00

meet márton... our first angora kid born 03/01/10. we named the little feller márton which is hungarian for warrior from mars. jason had to sub as "goat mid-wife" as i was in st louis staying with my mom. jason did a great job! unfortunately, márton's mommy, bianka, pulled an "842" and rejected the little bugger. bianka is a maiden. it was her first pregnancy. and she just didn't have a clue. after the birth, she got up and walked away to be with her other goat friends. jason, then confined her and her baby to a kidding pen for a while but no such luck. she just kept butting him away. and the little guy was in danger. the first 24 hours are so important. they need to get colostrom. so jason packed him up and brought him in the house and we have another bottle-baby on our hands. tito heard the news and is a bit jealous.

this time, however, i have the help of "other mother" little bit. who cleaned márton off after the birth. and has been pretending to nurse him ever since. i can't believe it. she's only one year old (and spayed) and is usually a crazy wild child. but all of a sudden she has taken on this massive responsibility with grace and composure. it's utterly bizarre. and so freakin' cute.

little bit cleaning off the "after-birth"

my first time holding him!

márton enjoying the comforts of home (like my favorite wingback reading chair!)

8 is great.

2010-02-24T15:12:00.007-06:00

today i celebrate my 8 year crancerversary. 8 years ago, i got the phone call. and the ball started rolling. and i knocked it out of the court. i slayed a dragon. i shot him dead. and all that good stuff.

in the past 8 years, i have joined a rock n'roll band. i married the love of my life. i quit my desk job of 13+ years, cashed in my retirement, bought a small holding farm in the middle o'nowhere missouri. started a small fiber farm (goats, sheep, angora rabbits, and llama). i've learned to spin yarn, fix an electric fence, shoot a shotgun, gut a chicken, use a riding lawn mower. i've been a goat mid-wife. and so many more things. and i'm still learning and growing.

sometimes i get down on myself. thinking that i have wasted time. not made the most of it. i sink into the evils of equating money with success. no, i don't have tons of money. but i always have food. and i have shelter. and i have the most gorgeous view from our kitchen window.

and now, at 8 years, i am faced with some obstacles. a teeny bump in the road with some reconstruction revision surgery. teeny for me, yes. but it disrupts the flow of the farm. i am unable to work for 6 weeks. therefore, my husband has taken on my role on top of his endless regular roles. and even though he won't admit it, i know it is a burden. and i am truly grateful for him. the critters are doing fantastic!

and then there is also the nagging "what if?" lurking around the corner. the dreaded follow-up PET scan in april. we are trying to think positive. and all prayers, good vibes, voodoo, mojo, magic beans, meditation, humor, etc... that you all have been sending our way is so very very welcome and deeply appreciated. we can feel the love. we can.

if my health permits, my surgeon has given be the thumbs up to go to the 10th Annual Young Survival Coalition/Living Beyond Breast Cancer Conference in Atlanta this weekend. many of my dearest friends will be there and i am so looking forward to seeing them. some i have known since my diagnosis. and we will celebrate our survivorship together.

and now i leave you with the cutest egg i have ever seen in my life.....

recovery is a bitch.

2010-02-20T09:33:00.006-06:00

i used to be better at convalescing. back when i had a desk job. surgery was almost like vacation. i got to sleep late. watch tv. be pampered. etc...

times have changed. i no longer have the dreaded 9-5. i am my own boss. and i actually enjoy getting up and working. because i am a farmer now. i wake up each day to fresh air and aerobic exercise. oh, i know, it's not all wine and roses. i bitch about farming too. especially in the dead of winter when it's freezing and i've got a flock of goats screaming for their breakfast. but i realized that as hard as the work is sometimes, i miss it. i like my life. i really do.

had my implant swap surgery on tuesday. went off without a hitch. was sent home same day with meds and instructions. the instructions are actually quite simple... "do nothing". all i am supposed to do is take 10 deep breaths every hour. and every two hours take a gentle walk inside the house. other than that... i'm not supposed to do anything! it even says in all caps in my post-op instructions "DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO HOUSEWORK NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU FEEL". so what exactly is a yoga-addict, field-walking, dog-playing, animal photographer, farm-girl supposed to do with nothing?

i feel like i'm wasting time. but i have to keep reminding myself that i will end up wasting much more time if i don't follow docs orders and wind up developing complications. so, i've been watching lots of movies and documentaries on the ol'roku. and reading a nice depressing swedish vampire book. learning prince songs on piano. and translating warren zevon's songs into french. and surfing the internet like a mad woman.

meanwhile, my husband is taking care of my flock. we recently lost our dear female pygmy goat, violet, to polio. she was a beauty. we are afraid her sister daisy might be going down the same road. jason is making sure that she is getting the bestest of best care. and last night daisy got to come into the house for a bite of dinner (a special blend of minerals, grains, & nutrients just for her) at "happy joe's". this little excursion was i think, perhaps the best medicine for the both of us.

daisy at happy joe's

double take, jr style

2010-02-17T20:48:00.004-06:00

so, i was walking thru the living room and had to do a double take. "did i just spy a beagle sitting on top of the hammond organ?" why yes, it was junior the musically inclined beagle. and i swear to you, this photo was NOT staged. i think he wants to join the band.

this just in....PET scans are not for pets.

2010-02-10T11:09:00.009-06:00

sorry i've been away so long. i have a thousand excuses (some pretty good, some just weak sauce). weather being one of the weaker ones... we've had snow, rain, snow, and more snow. freezing temps. frozen ponds. and snow drifts up to my knees!

and we've had more hardships. we lost our dear ram, einar. and our little orphaned twin goat, ramona. i don't even know what to say. except that it is so completely disheartening to have this happen. we know the reasons. but it doesn't make them any easier. still feels like failure. still makes us mourn. the strong survive. the weak ones fade. i hate it. i really do. but farming is nature. it is life and death. and birth. and seedlings. and giant tomatoes. and evil hornworms. and dogs. and birds. and bunnies.

with mother nature at the reins 24-7 and with us pulling the plough, it's hard to make room for personal issues. like family. and our own health. a month ago i somehow squeezed in a day to drive up to the big city (st louis) for an overdue visit with my oncologist. been having some symptoms (cough, chest pain, along with some other nags here and there). my onc ordered ct scans of chest, and abdomen. and a bone scan.

bone scan came back great. abdomen shows a few weird things but nothing too scary. yay! yay! i'm so happy. whoo hoo! then comes the chest scan report. first off, i have a ruptured implant. geesh! i had no idea. and second, multiple ground glass nodular opacities in lower and middle lobe of lung. huh? wait! what? first i'm thinking , "it's probably scar tissue from radiation. that's happened before". and secondly i'm thinking "WTF are ground glass opacities?" since i live 2 hours away from my oncologists office, i ask to have a copy of report sent to me. you know, just so i can be sure they are reading it right. because, i am so much smarter than a team of doctors and radiologists!

i finally get report in my hot little hands two weeks later (mail is slow in the middle of nowhere). i rip open envelope and start trying to decipher all the information. well, it's definitely not radiation scar tissue as i had hoped. these new spots are on my other lung. my good lung. and the official report reads, "metastatic disease can not be excluded". wow. i've never seen those words before written about me. so ominous. so frank. so nonchalant.

due to these spots, my oncologist ordered a PET scan. which does not involve pets. all my dogs were upset. especially porkchop. he said he has played a doctor on tv many times and was really hoping for a big break on this one. he said he wouldn't even need money. just bacon.

"PET scans are for people. for people!" i said in my best charlton heston.

a pet scan is another way of getting images. especially when looking for cancer. a glucose/radiation cocktail is injected into the vein. cancer cells metabolize different than healthy cells. the imaging can pick up hot spots where cancer is feasting on some day-glo sugar.

so, on feb 2 (groundhog day) i had my very first non-dog PET scan. it took a long time. you lie on this cold table with your arms above your head and the table moves every 4 minutes and takes another picture and you can't move and after about 15 minutes your arms fall asleep and after about 20 minutes you start to wonder if you still have arms because they no longer feel attached to your body and you do your best yoga breathing and eventually start making weird humming noises until finally test is done and nurse is back in the room with you asking if you are ok because you seem a bit freaked out. and the worst part was..... NO CARBS the evening or morning before hand. OMG! i live on cheese AND bread AND crackers AND pasta. not just cheese and cheese.

so jump forward to this week. PET scan results are in. the damn spots are there. but they are too small to say for sure what they are. we can't rule out cancer. but we can't rule it in. and we can't biopsy because it would require major surgery. so standard protocol is to wait three months and scan again. to see if anything changes.

all i can say, is to a cancer survivor, waiting for results suck. it is a recipe for anxiety. we want to know NOW. we want to be proactive. we hate to be sitting ducks (which by the way we just added the most beautiful flock of moscovy ducks to our farm - more on that in a future post).

thank the lord for xanax and red wine and friends and family and ducks and goats and bunnies and donkeys and pigs and blogs!

i will keep you posted. i'm having a little ol'surgery next week to replace my busted implant. and then, i promise to get back hawking my yarn, and to posting anthropomorphic photos of animals.

tito the conqueror!

2010-01-30T13:15:00.005-06:00

baby goats tend to get pushed around when there is fresh hay involved. especially something tasty like alfalfa! tito found a way around this predicament. tired of being on the bottom, getting seeds and stems spilled onto his lovely coat. why not just go straight to the top? that's how he stays so fat! and clean!

yes, he is standing on top of a pig!

yarn!

2010-01-23T21:52:00.004-06:00

finally! i'm selling yarn! right now i have two skeins of yarn (soon to be up on etsy). and i'm taking requests for custom orders. i can do mohair, icelandic wool, llama, angora and/or blends of any and all. my yarn is 100% natural, hand-carded and hand-spun using a drop spindle. each skein is a unique creation!

fine mohair lace yarn

llama/mohair blend chunky yarn

New stuff on etsy.

2010-01-17T19:48:00.004-06:00

A rose red flower pin just in time for Valentine's Day!

And a warm and woolly Llama, Icelandic wool, & Mohair crocheted scarf.

Click on the links above to take you to my etsy store. All items are made from hand-carded, hand-spun yarn by me using a drop-spindle.

a cold wind.

2010-01-15T20:05:00.005-06:00

winter is a harsh mistress. she hums her culling lullaby and the weakest submit.

this winter we have experienced record breaking cold temps. and unfortunately. we have lost a few of our beloved goats. most recently, patrik.

patrik was dear to my heart. born on my birthday. he came from champion stock (a few generations back). but suffered what is often attached to pure bred status, a general lack of thriftiness. he was rather, "anemic royalty". if you remember, he has been plagued with health issues. sudden hair loss. intestinal problems. stunted growth. and most recently, loss of balance. as a new born, he most likely experienced a selenium and vitamin e deficiency causing him to develop white muscle disease (an often debilitating disease causing paralysis and heart disease). we knew he probably wouldn't make it through this winter. but i hoped beyond hope for a miracle. sadly, his life was cut short last friday. he suffered a heart attack and died.

i miss my boy. he was a simple lad. not the sharpest tack. but a sweet buck with a pleasant disposition. we are fortunate that he bore a son, tito. who, mixed with pygmy blood, has true hybrid vigor! tito thrives and is a fat little fellow.

patrik, we miss you.

snow day.

2010-01-09T11:24:00.001-06:00

warning! dexter spoiler alert!

wind is the new snow.

2010-01-07T10:53:00.002-06:00

got about 3 inches of snow last night. now the sun is shining. but it still looks likes a blizzard. the wind, the wind. it huffed and puffed and blew the house down. or at least the hay bale.

ice is the new water.

2010-01-02T14:16:00.008-06:00

ice pond

so it is like a zillion degrees below zero. ok, i exaggerate. i hear it's much colder in minnesota. but i live in missouri. so, i don't really care that it could be worse. it's bad here and our ponds are frozen solid. it snowed. and there is a layer of ice underneath snow. sure, i don't have to drive to work (i work at home). however, there is the old problem of feeding and watering all our animals in this state of "the road"-esque habitat. water is freezing on contact. my polartec gloves are sticking to the gate with only a few drops of water on them.

until this morning, i've been surviving by busting up the thin layer of ice on our ponds every morning and evening so that animals can drink. this morning i busted all the way thru a chunk of ice about a foot thick straight down to dirt. ain't no water left underneath. this is serious.

normally, we have garden hoses running into bathtubs placed in the goat and donkey fields. and an electric ice melter that keeps water from freezing. but it is actually too cold for that. i'm afraid water will just freeze up inside hoses and be a big crunchy mess. i also don't want to risk busting any pipes.

so this morning, i gathered up every recyclable water container i could find and my 2 gallon watering can from my garden and meticulously filled up our two tubs. several trips were made. and by several, i mean 50 thousand. but, tubs are now full. extension chords are run and electric ice melter is keeping the peace. i should have planned ahead. but the weather has been so erratic. one day ponds are liquid, hoses work, fields are muddy, and the next, it's a winter apocalypse.

all seven dogs slept in the house last night since the temps were so low. they have a pretty nice and cozy dog condo, but i'm an old softy. and our indoor dogs don't seem to mind too much sharing the floor, chairs, spare bedroom.

porkchop's christmas.

2009-12-23T11:07:00.007-06:00

grandpa doczy and his dog tyler sent a package addressed to "porkchop and his buddies". we thought we'd let ol'chop open his gift early since that has been the trend around here this year. however.... del ray, being a possessive nut, must have mis-read the address label. i bet he thinks this post is about him.

gift opening was completed with my assistance. lots of goodies including bacon strips and steak treats. choppy, being his gracious and forgiving self, continues to share the wealth with ALL his doggie friends, including his vain little brother, del ray.

christmas came wooly early this year.

2009-12-21T16:22:00.004-06:00

santa couldn't wait. he knew i had some last minute hand-spun yarn orders. so, he decided to drop off some presents early!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got a niddy noddy (a device you wind yarn onto after it is spun). niddy noddy.... first off, i love the name. it's fun to say. and secondly, it works so much better than the back of a chair (which is what i have been using to make skeins for the past year!). i also received a whole collection of drop spindles. different weights. different sizes. with a kick ass display stand! and, as an extra bonus, one killer spinners t-shirt. i'm so happy i could implode! and by the way (cover your ears kids), santa is my dear husband.

oh, you're a niddy noddy!

behold, my spindles of glory!

get it?

hay, it's what's for dinner (can i get a doggie bag, please?)!

2009-12-16T17:18:00.005-06:00

it's officially winter. the ground is frozen which means time for hay. three round bales arrived over the weekend. which makes for some happy animals. the donkeys/horse/llama got one bale. the goats and sheep got another. and for some reason, the dogs claimed the third. who knew? hay, it's not just for breakfast anymore.

this just in... donkeys love hay!

the long and lean queen of the castle

"i got short legs, so this square bale's mine"

gratuitous pic of tito von peenerhaus

whole lotta rosie.

2009-12-11T19:45:00.003-06:00

the original odd couple

del ray's in love. in love with jeliza-rose. and she doesn't mind. quite a pair they make. he, a tiny miniature pincher. she, a great pyrenees mix. she, an outdoor guardian dog. he, an indoor wind-up toy. but on cold days, when the temp is in the single digits and the belgrade winds are gusting over 50 mph, the two come together to share a warm wingback chair inside and hide not their forbidden love.

baby it's cold outside.................

2009-12-09T10:19:00.003-06:00

just in time for winter, i introduce my latest creation...

the blue/green matching baby hat and mitten set custom made from 100% mohair hand-dyed, hand-spun yarn. the fiber comes from our handsome angora bucks, herschel and patrik.

i am currently taking orders for hats, scarves, baby mittens, and flowers. i can do just about any color and also have some lovely icelandic wool in brown and black.

stay warm!!!!!!!!

dreaming of a white turkey...

2009-12-02T19:33:00.006-06:00

"big white" is his name. not very creative, i know. but he IS our only white turkey AND he is ginormous.

not much to post. well, actually there probably is. but i've been in a funk. it happens around this time every year. the holidays. why do they always... 1.) sneak up on me 2.) make me feel inferior (to what or whom i do not know?) and 3.) cause me to freak the F out! it's quite pathetic, i know. it's all in me lil'ole nutty head. but i sure wish i'd learn to devise a preemptive detour. but alas, here i am. in the doldrums. fun, fun.

the forecast calls for snow. i've got my fingers crossed. would love to wake up to a field of white. and i'm not just talking turkey.

Icelandic Wool and Mohair Hat

2009-11-21T11:47:00.003-06:00

i have a new item up on etsy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep posted for lots more additions. i've been spinning myself dizzy!

"A cozy and fun winter beret made of all natural (no dyes or chemicals) hand-carded, hand-spun mohair and icelandic wool yarn. All fiber comes from free range goats and sheep raised with love and care. The mohair in this unique piece comes from none other than our handsome buck, Herschel. And the icelandic wool was donated by a friend's organic farm (as our icelandic sheep are still too young to shear)."

Purple, Pink & Turquoise Baby Hat.

2009-11-14T08:35:00.006-06:00

I've been busy spinning and crocheting. Here is my latest creation available on etsy...

Made from 100% mohair hand-carded hand-spun yarn. From our beautiful angora goats, Herschel & Bianka. Just in time for winter!

two for tito.

2009-11-07T12:33:00.005-06:00

hay!

tito turned two months old! his little horns are growing. and he's been weaned down to two bottles a day. leaves and grass are replacing milk. he's been outside for a month now and is fitting right in with the rest of the herd. although, he still prefers the company of humans.

comin' at ya!

dried leaves are like 'tater chips.

sitting in a chair on the porch.

on a sad note, we lost of one the orphaned twins, russell this week. we knew this might be a possiblity. orphaned goats have a harder time. their immune systems can take a hit making it difficult to fight off even the least aggressive diseases. still, we are heartbroken. his sister, ramona is doing well. and we are hoping she will thrive and grow into a lovely pygora doe.

little bit turns one.

2009-11-02T13:48:00.005-06:00

yes, our wild and crazy black mouth cur pup turned one yesterday. although we spoiled her with a special peanut-butter filled bone and an overflowing chow hound, i think the best present of all was the weather. sunny, sunny, sunny, with a chance of more sunny!

biddy's birfday bone

"lil'ann, wanna see my bone?"

"lulu, i got a new bone!"

"want it? can't have it!"

"haha! i will steal all the chow while the dogs fight over bones!"

wogum

2009-10-31T18:25:00.001-05:00

secret lives of farm animals returns with little bit, porkchop, and del ray pondering life, getting older, and the addition of "the chow hound". an honest and humble documentary. however, this video could have benefited from the use of subtitles during the little bit segment. the black mouth cur pup is hard to understand due to her unique accent/speech impediment. so, a heads up... she is discussing her new job, turning one years old, digging holes, catching moles, chewing bones and her scary "wogum" mantra.

halloweenies...

2009-10-29T15:39:00.007-05:00

so it is almost halloween. one of my favorite holidays. or at least it was in my youth. i loved dressing up. obscure home-made costumes were the best. as i child i remember many an october 31st going door to door having to explain who i was supposed to be. "um, i'm a muse.... one of 9 sisters? daughter of zeus? inspiration for the arts?" no, i wasn't that into greek mythology. i just had seen xanadu five million times (thanks to my truly patient dad and his wehrenberg theatre passes). then there was the year i was annette ant (fictional female twin to adam)...

i've been vampire brides, cheerleaders, a siamese-twin, nico (from the velvet underground), yoko ono, frida, and loretta lynn. but tonight, i have a show. and i got nuthin. maybe it's all the rain. did i mention it rains a lot here!!!!!?? but i just don't feel like dressing up. maybe because most of the fun with costumes comes from getting to be somebody else for a night. getting to escape your life for a moment. and for once in my life, i like who i am and where i'm at. so, i'll don my regular ol'black & sparkly band gear. slap on some regular ol'dark eyeshadow, red lipstick & glitter. and be myself. although, part of me still wants to spill some fake blood....

i guess we raise hams????

2009-10-23T16:26:00.005-05:00

i have come to the realization that my animals possess a sixth sense when it comes to paparazzi. i whip out a camera and they instinctively turn their heads and pose.

lady dinky

the boot

choppy cheese

"weddy for my cwose up"

even the goats do it!

the simple life

2009-10-14T17:13:00.006-05:00

it's been raining forever it seems. i know that seems dramatic. and i know we need the rain. our ponds are full again. and the grass has sprung and will feed the flock until winter. but it's just so muddy and cloudy and cold and i can't help but wonder where summer went???

people always think that i lead a simpler life now. no 9-5 punch-card. no boss. just sunsets and rainbows and butterflies and puppy dogs . but i have to admit, this is about the hardest thing i've ever done. and it's never really "done". there is always something that needs fixed. animals to be fed. shit to be scraped off my boots when i'm in from the fields. it's not glamorous. and there is no one telling me i've done a good job (except my husband for whom i think i would go completely bonkers without).

this simple life is, in fact, pretty darn stressful. i am so immersed in the cycle of life. animals being born. animals dying. or being harvested. it is a constant. i spend so much energy worrying that i forget about those butterflies and puppy dogs and sunsets.

so i'm going to take this post to list a few things that i'm grateful for:

1. homegrown tomatoes
2. my beautiful flock of goats (especially the kids)
3. spinning yarn
4. 1940's tractor my husband fixed
5. learning from mistakes
6. wine!
7. my piano
8. this house (as messy and as unorganized as it is)
9. porkchop getting to run around leash-free
10. last but not least, my husband who has allowed me this 9-5-less freedom!

and now i will leave you with a big raspberry from bianka, my beautiful angora doe!

bonkers!

cracker goat strikes again

2009-10-07T11:38:00.001-05:00

october means...

2009-10-01T17:25:00.006-05:00

1. i've been a farmer for 2 years now.
2. it's getting chilly.
3. we got sheep to shear.

yes, we have kindly adopted 3 icelandic beauties from a friend's farm on nebraska/iowa border. being icelandic, they have been given appropriate names: nanna (goddess of the moon), hulda (fairy maiden), and einar (lone warrior). you can learn more about them on jason's blog. i'll just add, that they have lovely wool. i've already started spinning some from one of their aunties (graciously donated by their former owner, sherri).

nanna being coy

hulda with dark and careless make-up

einar, the lone warrior

kids love kids (and llamas too).

2009-09-29T11:24:00.008-05:00

we had a tiny visitor yesterday. delaney (jason's cousin ron's daughter) flew in all the way from sunny california to visit family (and more importantly, goats). she loves them. especially tito. but was very concerned about tito's negligent mommy (842).

welcoming committe member baby snakes greets ron and delaney

and offers kisses

while tito and his big sis little bit crash from all the excitement

life goes on.

2009-09-23T15:36:00.006-05:00

life is a roller coaster. you coast, and coast. you feel a thrill when you turn a loop but then all of a sudden you throw up the funnel cake you downed earlier and wish you could just get off and take a nap.

that's how things are these days. the good days coast by. sometimes you don't even notice them. which is a shame. you don't realize that nothing is going wrong. you just keep sweeping the floor and feeding the dogs. and then you have bad days from hell. like yesterday. jason's dad was rushed to ER. seizures. possible side-effect from his stroke. might be able to control with medication. fortunately, might not impair his ability to heal and recover. never the less, still scary as shit.

we try to deal with these things. but the dogs still need to eat. and the floor is definitely in need of sweeping. possible bull-dozing.

luckily the coaster scenery is often pleasantly distracting. for example, tito von peenerhaus has learned (with the aid of porkchop's doggie steps) to access my reading chair. he hasn't learned to read yet. just nap. which is what i'd love to do someday.

tito and jerry blissfully sleeping

there will be mini pin

2009-09-20T17:38:00.001-05:00

september, where did you go?

2009-09-19T11:08:00.006-05:00

can't believe september is almost up. i have been seriously slacking on posts. tito along with my new part-time care-taker job seem to have thrown me for a blog-less and photo-less loop. sincere apologies.

tito is fine, by the way. he's currently visiting his cousins audrey, ramona, russell, and leon outside. his grazing instincts have kicked in (a la chewing on cords, paper bags, purses, shoe strings....). so, when at all possible, he gets to run free with the herd.

been stocking up for fall on yarn and crocheted items. new stuff up on etsy. i also take requests. perfect time to plan your christmas list.

mohair hat

mohair christmas pin

tears of a red dog photo

2009-09-13T20:54:00.002-05:00

one of my photos "tears of a red dog" is in this news clip! it is the photo at beginning of video that you click on to play video and is also the second art piece featured in the story.

tito von peenerhaus

2009-09-10T23:56:00.003-05:00

"in labor" day weekend.

2009-09-07T17:28:00.006-05:00

what a lovely weekend. started with some general home/farm improvement. cleaned up the laundry room and installed a new-to-us refrigerator which will be used solely for curing meat and aging cheese.

an amazing harvest from the garden...

then a visit from sam the drummer, his wife kate, and their gorgeous baby ophelia. this baby is crazy about animals and loves to give them hugs. a simultaneous visit from jason's daughter, amber. much fun was had playing with baby goats, chickens, the llama, the pigs and the zillion dogs. plus a bottle of italian prosecco didn't hurt, either.

ophelia leading the way for sam

ophelia waving in her very own chicken parade

then today, labor day, the goat stork visited. 842 finally had her baby. a beautiful blue-eyed blond buck, tito (named by our friend kendra's daughter). labor and birthing went brilliantly. unfortunately, that's where the brilliance ended. 842 wasn't too keen on being a mom. perhaps she imagined her role as mere surrogate? after much counseling upon our part, 842 still stuck to her guns and gave the baby up for adoption. she rejected the poor tike. luckily, we have colostrum replacer on hand. and he is currently being bottle fed indoors by his new mother, me. his big doggy sister (little bit) is doing a wonderful job at keeping him clean. and he seems to like the extra attention.

tito

although tito is currently doing well, baby goats that are rejected have a hard road to travel. right now he's still about 50/50 for survival. so all well-wishes and strong-goat-baby-vibes you want to throw our way will be ever so appreciated.

been so long...

2009-09-04T18:00:00.005-05:00

sorry i've slacked this week on posts. haven't really felt up to it with the loss of marla. can't bear to break out the old canon and shoot any pics. but i will let you all know the kids are fine. russell and ramona are doing phenomenally well. have not needed milk replacer. weaned themselves. amazing little creatures. they are growing by leaps and bounds. and the goat heard has taken them under their collective wing. and then there's the sheep... who also have a bond with the twins. so, things are going really as well if not better than can be expected.

me, i started my new part-time job today. caretaker. my father in law (who had a stroke back in april) is at home and needing assistance during the day between home health visits from his various therapists and while my mother in law goes back to work. i will be doing this a few days a week alternating with other relatives who are giving their time as well. never pictured myself in this position, but here i am. and after all my cancer/surgeries/etc... i have a bit of experience. if nothing else as a patient. and it's nice to be able to give something back. karma for all the love and care i received when i was in need.

promise new pictures sometime soon. until then, check out my husbands new blog, provenance farm which is exclusively illustrated with photographs by the brilliant photographer known otherwise as me.

marla, the tourist.

2009-08-29T20:31:00.006-05:00

in the words of chuck palahniuk, "marla, you little tourist."

that's what she was. just here to visit. to grace us with her presence. to enrich our lives. to give us the greatest gift... life. the twins.

marla passed away suddenly this morning. a postmortem determined she suffered from an acute case of liver flukes. a parasite derived from snails and not common in this part of the country.

we are all at a loss here on the farm. there is not a being here that does not miss her presence. the dogs, the goats, even the turkeys are in mourning. and i am heartbroken. it's hard being an organic farmer. loss is the biggest challenge. you are aware that loss is a possiblity going into it, but it doesn't make it any easier when confronted face to face with fatality.

we have decided to give our goats a preventative wormer from here on out. this will, of course, be chemical in nature and therefore not be considered purely organic. but knowing that this parasite is found on our land, i can not stand back and let innocent animals suffer.

so i suppose our mohair won't be considered certifiably organic, but it's damn near close.

and now for a pictorial memorial...

marla & the twins

tree leaves... it's what's for breakfast

marla and her BFF bernadett

a lovely lady

baby bunnies.

2009-08-24T21:52:00.004-05:00

so apparently josephine and armel have been busy doing what bunnies do best. having babies! there are at least three babies that i have seen. josephine has installed quite a complex underworld full of dens, tunnels and who knows what else in which the children spend most of the day. one little baby (the spitting image of armel), seems to be the most brave and adventurous and therefore camera friendly.

i am a bit concerned about their safety. being small and curious. i have witnessed armel jr venturing out through the tiniest hole in the fence. granted the entire rabbit pen is lined with chicken wire that goes about a foot or so under grass all around the inside perimeter (to prevent rabbits from tunneling out). there was one small hole the little tike found. it has since been patched. but i know rabbits are clever and persistant. there is a possiblity they might plan another escape. however, in my heart, i believe that they deserve to live a life free from cages (as do all other animals on our farm). it is a risk. but one i feel must be taken for them to live life to the fullest.

armel jr

mother josephine

father armel

shade, protector of all bunnies

garden of eatin'

2009-08-17T22:27:00.004-05:00

this year's garden was off to a rocky start. what with torrential rains in april and may. then unbelievable heat in june. and now august's drought. but things are starting to happen. had our first corn on the cob. which accompanied some pulled barbeque home-grown pork.

and our very first prescott fond melon!!!! much like a cantelope, but tastier and warty!

not present for photo shoot: home-made garlic dill refrigerator pickles, tomatoes, banana & jalapeno peppers, and swiss chard!

c'mon 842!

2009-08-15T09:44:00.005-05:00

goat eight hundred and forty two

all the pregnant nannies have delivered except for resident refugee 842. marching to her own drum as usual, she prefers to bang her head against barnyard gate and practice her vocabulary. in addition to "ma, ma, ma" she has added "hot, hot, hot". perhaps she thinks she is one hot mamma. i choose not to delve too far into her riddled mind. it frightens me.

instead, how bout some cute kid pics?

audrey in the sky with straw

i'm russell!

leaping leon!

ramona

when turkeys attack

2009-08-09T18:20:00.001-05:00

and now for something ridiculously adorable...

2009-08-04T16:09:00.005-05:00

audrey practicing her mad jumping skillz

twins, goat mid-wife, and the mark of the horn.

2009-08-01T18:50:00.005-05:00

this has been an interesting week. two days after audrey was born, marla finally gave birth! to twins! a boy and a girl. she had them in the morning before i awoke. and after constant observation, the little boy did not appear to be nursing and looked a tad unthrifty. baby goats need to nurse especially right after being born. if they do not get colostrum (milk with antibodies from mom that is only produced for first day or so after birth), they will die. i first tried to get the little feller to nurse. tried holding him up to nipple and squirting a bit of milk. the little man wouldn't have it. and to top it off, marla panicked a bit. marla is a big big goat. and even though we've had her for over a year, she is still pretty wild. oh and by the way, all this is happening while my husband is at work. so i'm here alone. step two: try to milk marla. why did i think this was even a possibility? i crawl into kidding pen with her. and bribe her with treats. grab a hold of her horns. and then let go with one hand and try to access teat. she takes advantage of the loosened grip and tries to butt me. i put free hand back on horn. talk sweetly to her. pet her nose a bit. then try again. again she tries to attack. this goes on several times. and finally ends with... bam! she flings me against the side of the stall. and leaves a perfect imprint of her horn on my thigh.

i decide i need to jump ahead to plan 3: drive to town and pick up colostrum replacer. long story short. fed little boy colostrum replacer several times throughout the day. and by evening he nursed from mum. and is doing well. meet russell and ramona....

the twins and marla

russell (named after russell brand)

ramona (named just because it sounds good)

a few days go by. and we wake to daisy going into labor right as jason is going to work. he asks if i'm going to be ok alone. i feel confident. daisy is a sweetheart and has no horns. i gather my supplies. bucket, warm water, book with birthing assistance instructions, gloves, lube, and snippers (in case i need to trim umbilical cord). i take a seat in field with daisy. and watch as her water breaks and bubble appears. next i see two little hoofs. no head yet. she seems to be straining. goats need assistance if labor goes on for more than half an hour after water break. so... i consult book. by this time daisy really looks like she needs help. i put on gloves. lube up hands and grab hold of the two little hoofs. then i see something frightening. it looks like the baby has suffocated. it's tongue is sticking out of mouth and appears rather blue. i gentle pull on hooves and the head comes all the way out. i wipe the mucous off face. i see little nostrils blowing bubbles. i clear mucous away from mouth and out comes a sweet little cry. the rest of goat slides out. mom is fine. baby is fine. she cleans him. and within a half hour the little boy is standing and nursing. what an amazing act.

daisy and little boy (not named yet since this just happened)

mother and son

what's next? 842 is still pregnant. i feel it will be within the next few days. and talk about wild goats.... 842 makes marla look like a trained poodle. i'll be wearing armour on that day.

meet audrey.

2009-07-27T16:41:00.007-05:00

the very first kid goat born on the rook farm. surprise, surprise! marla was not the mother! violet, one of the pygmy twins, beat marla to the punch. herschel must have snuck in and bred violet immediately after his arrival on our farm, before he hooked up with marla. goats are sneaky that way!

little audrey was delivered sunday afternoon. kid and mother are doing very well! champagne for everyone!!!!!!!!

i'm just sitting here waiting...

2009-07-21T10:42:00.006-05:00

any day now. i really think marla must be expecting a calf or baby hippopotamus by her size. and well, herschel is just as pleased as punch.

marla's bag.

herschel insisted on this gratuitous shot.

what a stud, indeed!

sheep love roses.

2009-07-19T08:36:00.005-05:00

our sheep are strangely attracted to jeliza-rose. they flock to her as if she were the sheep messiah. she doesn't exactly know what to make of it.

junior's first piano lesson.

2009-07-18T10:03:00.002-05:00

why you can't leave farm kitchen door open....

2009-07-16T15:48:00.006-05:00

WTF?

2009-07-15T09:54:00.002-05:00

now clotheslines are being banned? thank god i live in a a town with no government!

from the garden

2009-07-14T17:08:00.004-05:00

the first tomato of the season! also peppers are starting to come in (gypsy and bell pictured above). got a few cucumbers almost ready to pick. swiss chard, lettuce, cilantro, basil, rosemary, thyme, parsley. along with a few fat juicy hornworms, unfortunately. i took guilty pleasure in feeding the worms to our chickens.

how bout some bunnies?

2009-07-12T14:36:00.004-05:00

no baby goats yet. so, i will instead entertain you with a few snaps from the newly remodeled outdoor rabbit pen....

armel in the west wing tunnel he designed himself

armel & josephine stepping out back for a smoke

josephine getting ready for the hoe-down

shade, bunny bodyguard

waiting on marla...

2009-07-11T11:59:00.005-05:00

marla will be the first goat on the rook farm to kid (have babies). i've read up on kidding and all the eminent labor signs. and thursday i was positive that she was a mere hours away from giving birth. she was off alone, in a quiet corner of the barn. she was pawing at the ground. getting up and lying back down. she was making soft little sounds. nervous as a kitten, i checked on her every half an hour for the whole day. but nuthin happened. then another day went by. and here i am still waiting.

her official due date isn't until july 20 but you can add or substract 10 days from that. so, it can be any day for the next 19 days. hoping to be on this side of july 20. i've got my virtual cigars all ready and will keep you posted.

you don't have to live like a refugee...

2009-07-09T11:11:00.006-05:00

as you may know, my father-in-law had a stroke back in april and has been hospitalized since. he is improving everyday. however, it is still going to be a long road. we offered to adopt his hunting beagles. as they need some extra attention. and well, i'm a sucker for a sad eyed beagle.

meet the two newest refugees... lulu and junior. lulu is in by no means related to lulu of "the adventures of lulu" stories. i just like the name.

junior comes from a long line of rook family beagles. his mother was buttercup (whose birth i witnessed many moons ago). and buttercup was daughter to blind ol'annie (whom i wrote a song about called "ballad of the lonely hunter"). jr has a hereditary condition called cherry eye which is a deformity of the tear gland. it can be fixed with surgery. however, it would involve removing the tear gland (which would cause dry eye and possible infections). so, we're just gonna leave him be. he thinks it makes him look tough. i agree.

i'm not exactly sure about lulu's lineage. i do know that she's old as hell. and has had her share of puppies. we are getting her spayed. mostly to prevent any del ray offspring which would no doubt be a plague on the world.

lulu

junior lookin' good!

"oh, is this not cool?" - junior

"no, it's not." - porkchop

lulu don't like cameras

from the adventures of lulu...

2009-07-08T11:06:00.012-05:00

lulu and the puppies

the sign on the gate said "puppies for sale". wearing a pink taffeta dress, black lace stockings, and red patent leather shoes, lulu opened the gate. carrying an old brown leather suitcase, she walked up to the front door of the farmhouse and knocked. an old woman peeked outside a sheer curtain.

"may i help you, young lady?"

"i'm here about the puppies."

"oh yes, we've got six left. the mom had nine. two have been taken. and we lost one at birth. please follow me. "

lulu followed the white haired lady, admiring her red and white checkered apron. they walked around to the back of the house, past the rose bushes and the peonies. the old woman opened another gate leading into a modest pen with a homemade wooden dog house.

"here they are, honey."

"oh, they are so beautiful! i just can't decide which one i want. do you mind if i take a moment alone to play with them?"

"go ahead. i've got beans on the stove anyways. just shut the gate when you are done. and when you make your decision, come up to the house."

lulu kneeled down and opened her suitcase. inside was one pentax camera, six little taffeta dresses, a small cardboard table, six teacups with six matching saucers, and a small teapot. she unfolded the table and began to arrange the cups and saucers. once the table was set, she poured tea into each cup. then, one by one, she called the puppies.

"you, you must be evelyn."

a brown puppy with dark eyes stepped forward. lulu handed her an emerald green dress. evelyn stepped into it and turned around while lulu fastened the buttons.

"now go have a seat at the table."

lulu called for patricia, a white and black puppy with long legs. the pup ran to lulu's side and stretched out her front paws. lulu slipped a pink ruffled dress on the dog. patricia then eagerly sprinted to the table.

"nellie? where are you?"

nellie, a tame fawn colored pup, was hiding behind the remaining three dogs. she cautiously walked towards lulu who was holding out a sapphire blue dress. nellie sat quietly while lulu placed the dress over her head.

"marlene, here is your dress."

lulu held up a lilac dress with a tulle layered skirt. marlene, who favored evelyn but with lighter eyes, walked up to lulu and stepped into the dress. she turned around a few times, delighted by the twirl, and then sat down next to eveyln.

"nadia?"

nadia, a little black pup with short wavy hair and a serious face, took her turn at being dressed. after being fitted in a dark crimson gown, nadia ran over and sat next to marlene.

"now, annie, you didn't think i forgot about you?"

annie, a white and tan pup with coal-lined eyes, was longingly gazing at lulu. when lulu took the last dress out of the suitcase and held it up, annie began to wag her tail. she graciously sat still while lulu zipped up the back of the violet robe. annie then walked with lulu over to the table.

when all the dogs were seated, they began to discuss current events and sip their tea.

"oh, evelyn, that green really suits you."

"why, thank you sister, marlene. you look so graceful twirling in your dress"

"annie, did you ever find out where mr. mole was hiding?"

"no, but i have managed to map out a serious of tunnels, patricia."

"nellie, how have your vocal lessons been going?

"i just learned a new song, nadia. it's about sand and dreams."

lulu sat back, listened to the conversations, refilled cups when they grew empty. and when the tea was all gone, she gathered the pups for a group photo.

afterward, the pups returned the dresses to lulu and helped her fold up the table and put the dishes back into the suitcase. in exchange, lulu thanked each pup with a gentle pat on the head. the pups retired to their wooden dog house and lulu exited through the gate.

lulu knocked on the screen door. the white haired lady answered.

"yes, sweety? did you make up your mind?"

"i'm afraid i was looking for a larger dog."

"well, if you change your mind, let me know. you can come back anytime."

"thank you. i just might."

and lulu left, suitcase in hand, with another photo for her album.

farmgirl enters the future...

2009-07-07T09:50:00.004-05:00

... or more likely the present or very recent past.

so, what does a farmgirl do during her off time? watch movies. with no tv reception whatsoever, i am slave to netflix. plus it also makes me feel important since every couple days or so i get packages in the mail. "oh, what's in my post office box? oh, something for me! nice one. i'm really special." recent movies watched: friday, strange brew, a clockwork orange, the wrestler, the west wing (season two), and a little ol' movie called forgetting sarah marshall. let me just say, it was one of the funniest movies i've ever seen.

the opening naked break-up scene is hilarious. the dracula musical number, brilliant. and of course, russell brand. me, being an american living in-the-middle-of-nowhere, had never really heard of russell brand. just that guy that confused people at the mtv awards and pissed off jordin sparks. so, after "forgetting sarah marshall" i put "russell brand in new york" into my netflix queue. and well, an obsession began. i haven't liked a comedian this much since the late mitch hedberg.

since there is only one stand-up dvd on netflix for russell, i thought i'd check out the world wide web. which is where i discovered twitter. i'd heard about it. but really didn't really understand the whole concept. still don't. but, i'm on it now. and apparently have a whopping 3 followers. yes, i am special.

so feel free to follow my exceptionally unequivocal one liners on my dallehouse twitter site.

music move.

2009-07-05T23:24:00.005-05:00

today the recording studio was moved from st louis to belgrade (with help from sam and his giant truck). our house is now a wonderland of various vintage gear and a maze of musical instruments. i finally have a piano. it's old too. a 1929 howard.

hear are some photos to document the move...

choppy on the ramp

little bit supervising choppy & del ray

a song for the tractor

the howard at rest

my wee little garden.

2009-07-03T16:47:00.011-05:00

so, i'm slowly taking back my garden. laying down newspaper and hay to kill out weeds & grass. getting the hydrogen levels in check. killing hornworms with my bare hands. yes, hornworms beware! dusting with diatomaceous earth to kill other pests (we don't use chemical pesticides). and low and behold, baby fruits are being revealed.

gypsy pepper

itty bitty heirloom tomato

eggplant (still needs some de-pesting)

adorable baby cucumber

giganto jalapeno pepper

now for the million dollar question.... anyone know what this plant is?

it is growing all over our pasture. is it a weed? a baby tree? i do not remember seeing it last year. hoping it is not worrisome. perhaps it's something beneficial? the root actually smells quite good. sweet and spicy. ok, so i don't have a million dollars. but i will award some sort of prize (more than likely mohair or vegetable) to the first person to correctly identify this mystery plant.

mr sandhank

2009-07-02T13:46:00.004-05:00

from his forthcoming album "tales from the 'grade"